I've put the blog on an indefinite Hiatus (again). Sorry, I don't have enough time to blog anymore. But I will be back.... sometime. So please keep checking, and do not remove my blog from your bookmark! Later, homies!

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Winamp Remote

Wednesday, November 29, 2006
I finally got time to update my Winamp. The new version has some cool new features. There's a better iPod support, and then there's this dashboard area in the Media Library which contains an overview of most items in the Library, like most played tracks, SHOUTcast and some Winamp services.

But what stood out was Winamp Remote. This neat feature lets you listen to the music in your Winamp library from anywhere! Thats right, anywhere! All you need is to download this little program and install it. Whenever you want to access your music library from a web browser, you just have to have this program open, and your account signed in. When you want to access your music, just sign into Orb and... start listening! It's still in beta, but it works like a charm already!

Just imagine, you're on a long vacation, and forgot to take the iPod battery charger with you. Or you don't even have an iPod or any portable music player. This is an ideal solution for music addicts (like me). The only requirements for this to work is that little program you downloaded is running, and your internet not getting disconnected (and provided that your firewall/anti virus program wouldn't be a bastard). Oh, and there are the power outages. Provided you aren't in a shit hole country like India, where power outages and frequent internet disconnections are a way of life, Winamp Remote is an ideal solution to stay in touch with your music when you're away from home.

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Commies Shood Laern Engalish

Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Commies Suck at English

Need I say more?

P.S: I know the new comment box is a little buggy. I will fix it tomorrow.

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Home Alone

Monday, November 27, 2006
It's every persons dream. Being home alone. And I am, for 3 days! Even though I have some extra shit to do around the house, and it's probably going to take my time from blogging, I'm excited. Mainly because I can walk naked around the house, sleep naked, watch TV naked, blog naked. In short, I can be naked the whole day! No one can explain the feeling of pride you get when you just walk around the house naked all day. Jennifer Aniston once did it in Friends. I envy the nudists, especially those who get to see naked chicks. I think I'll mov.... wait a minute.... what's that? Uh oh, someone's at the door...

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Funny Video

Sunday, November 26, 2006
Why do dumbass people do what they shouldn't be doing? Is it because they're dumb? We should hurl all the dumbass people up, and put them on an island, like this dumb guy...

This guy lets his gun fly out of his hands and hit him right in the melon.

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Self Image

Friday, November 24, 2006
Live without Sex

Me in 10 years. Ahahahah, I can't help but pity myself.

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My New Ambition

Thursday, November 23, 2006
I've always wanted to be a computer programmer, and maybe a stand up comedian like Kramer. But after reading this news, I want to be become an airport security guard. I will KILL to fulfil this ambition. Hey, where else besides being a porno movie director do you get to see a lot of live boobies? That's what I thought until I read the last paragraph. Bummer.

I would definitely like to be on the other end of this "body scanner" though. It's not like I wouldn't lie to the security chick about the hot guy with long ding dongs, and it's not like she would figure out I'm bullshitting and miss it in the name of work ethics. But problem would arise when I want to travel abroad. I wouldn't want anyone to notice my gun, however small it may be. I know, I'm a terrorist in a sense. I'll have to travel by boat, I guess. Hopefully not in the Titanic. This is one time I wished technology didn't grow at the pace that it is growing. Actually, I wish my ding dong was bigger, so I could walk across the security checkpoint, with my crotch high in the air, saying things like "Hey! How're ya doing?!" and "Who's got a flag?".

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Wednesday, November 22, 2006
This is the most annoying thing I've come across in my 19 years of existence. More annoying than Paris Hilton, ghostriding, and James Bond movies. The purpose of that website escapes me. Why don't you check it out and try to guess its purpose?

Warning: The website might make you pull your hair out, kick your monitor and go on a psychopathic rampage.

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Kramer is a Racist

Tuesday, November 21, 2006
... and a cracker ass. LOL! He is probably one of the worst stand up comedians in the history of... stand up comedy. Can't even handle hecklers properly. But he is funny as hell even when he is cracking up! ROFL! This is the best video. Ever!

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Jolie and Pitt are in the country, but guess who is grabbing all the attention? Their bodyguards. First, it was a British photographer who was at the receiving end. Now, its muslim students of a school in South Mumbai and their parents. Click here to read all about it. It's proof bodyguards are all brawns and no brains. Talking shit about people in their territory, bad idea. I mean, it's like going to Afghanistan and calling the Taliban "towelheads!". Ain't no way you're coming back without just one leg, one and a half hands and half a head.

Perhaps the attention-whore nature of their bodyguards led Brangelina decide to torture anoth... I mean adopt an Indian kid. Celebrities always want to be in the news, don't they? So, they decide its time to add another one into the already existing line up of adopted foreign kids, one from Ethiopia and one from Cambodia. And guess what? They've already decided the name of their would be adopted kid, even before they've seen the child. They're going to call the new comer "India", after its country of origin. Wow. How original.

Celebrities think these children are some kind of souvenirs or something. It's like: Go film a movie in a foreign land, get publicity, get a living souvenir in the name of (a high profile) adoption. Go to another foreign land, repeat process. When are these self righteous celebrities going to realize inter-racial adoptions are a sensitive thing (Psst Madonna, this goes double for you)? Will these children survive the sudden change in enviroment? Why are celebrities attention whores? Where's the Lithium? Argh!

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Eye of the Slim

Monday, November 20, 2006
I've had an eye infection for the past week, and so I had to put the blog on hiatus. I looked like a Chinese dude, slant eyed, with satan red eyes two days into the infection. All I did was lie on my bed and listen to music. As if that wasn't enough, the infection spread to my dad. That meant we had to eat lousy and bland food for a few days. And my aunt expired two days ago, so we had to travel six hours with the red and watery eyes. People were staring at me as if I were a modern biological terrorist or something. It's been quite a week, the past seven days (I know, I have a bad sense of humor). So anyway, now that my eyes have healed a bit, I'm back to talk shit on things and bore the hell out of you people.

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Ass, You Like It

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Oh. And if you're wondering too much about the title, its a Shakespeare knock off.

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Kindergarten Sex Education

Saturday, November 11, 2006
If you thought Diddy's vaginal dryness problem was the funniest thing you've heard in a while, then check out this story.

In a country dominated by stupid politicians and moronic people, that was certainly missing. Well, not anymore. Now we're going to have five year old kids talking about marijuana and bangin' dem hoes. A perfect addition to an already fucked up country. And I thought kindergarten is where you learn the alphabets and numbers...

I'm jealous of the little bastards now. I didn't get to see pictures of boobies and pussy when I was five. Heck, forget five, even when I was 13 - 14. I asked my dad about sex. I asked, "Pop, where do babies come from?" and he slapped me slightly, "Aye! Why do you wanna know?" and I go, "'Cause I'm 18!". We won't be having that kind of a conversation in Indian households anymore. Perhaps the kids can teach their parents stuff they didn't know! That would be a first. Kids teaching parents about sex. Hey, atleast we're one up on the rest of the world. Where else would you find a kindergarten goer talking about sex, in the coming years?

For morons (because there is always one nearby) who didn't get my message, I find this move stupid. This move is probably the resultant of teachers feeling "embarassed" talking about sex to teenagers. One day, we have parents trying to "have a talk" to their already sex educated (by self, of course) child, and the next, we have 5 years olds talking sex and drugs. Everyone calls George Bush a moron. What would they call the person who came up with this idea?

Then again, I might as well befriend the little fucker in my neighborhood. I might learn something new, browsing through his sex education textbook.

Stumbled upon - Ekawaaz's blog.
Real news - Reuters news.

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I'm not very good at making knock knock jokes. I'm really bored right now that I actually got the motivation to make one. I thought I'd put it here, because I love boring the shit out of people.

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
[Sand nigger accent] Suicide bomber.
Suicide bomber wh...

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I Want a Laptop, ARGH!

Thursday, November 09, 2006
Politicians piss me off! Especially when they're upto something with a political gimmick. When it comes to political gimmicks, Indian politicians rank at the top. Take a look at what this politician is upto...

This picture pissed me off. Another political gimmick. This time, its Sharad Pawar, the agriculture minister, using Craig Barrett, the Intel chairman.

What the fuck is he doing gifting a laptops to rural people? What are they going to to with it? They don't even have stable power supply in the first place! Are they going to provide any special education for them, to use the laptops?

Before you write me off as a jealous prick, let me drill a little sense into your ignorant head (I can only hope your head isn't empty). Most people in the rural area don't even have proper education, let alone three square meals a day. If Craig wanted to play Philanthropist, he would have looked to provide these basic things first. The laptops, if they had been gifted to people who would actually make use of it, the political gimmick along with his marketing gimmick for WiMAX wireless, would have been overlooked. This is just one of those moves to make the rural people kiss Pawar's ass, because they've been pissed at him so far for doing very little in the Agricultural sector. What pissed me off even more is that the Intel chairman, even though would have seen through this gimmick, actually went ahead gifting precious and costly laptops to people who know nothing about it. ARGH! I need one of those laptops!

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We don't call her a slut, whore, bitch etc. for nothing. Britney and stable marriage somehow don't go together. She files for a divorce citing "irreconcilable differences". Hmm. I'm pretty sure I read a few days ago, that she said K-Fed had been "really supportive" on her way from a fat cow to her old self. The real reason probably is that K-Fed denied to touch her when she was a fat bitch, and now she wants to go one up on him.

Too bad they had kids. I actually feel bad for Junior I and II. Not because their parents are getting divorced. Because their genes are made up of a dumb bitch and a half baked, idiot rapper. I wonder who Britney's next temporary husband would be. Any guesses? Would he last 55 hours or would Britney be attempting a new "shortest marriage" record? It all remains to be seen. Fun times ahead for shit talkers like me :D.

Britney Spears, K-Fed and Junior.

Britney Spears and K-Fed wondering if their baby can float in the ocean.

Britney and K-Fed. Where is Junior???

The couple, oblivious to the fact that Junior has floated away.

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Idiots Cannot be 007

Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Sean P. Diddy (I hope that's his name, 'cause he keeps on changing it every now and then) wants to be the next Bond. LOL. z0mg. ROFL. LMFAO. That's the funniest shit I've heard in a while. Can you imagine a rapping Bond, talking in ebonics? "Yo, mah name iz Bond... Jaymz Bond, nigga." People need to have realistic dreams.

And have you ever wondered what the "P" in his name stands for? Pee, of course. He also admitted, along with his Bond dreams, that he used to be a bed wetter. A rapping, bed wetting James Bond talking in ebonics. Oh yeah, thats the ultimate James Bond. Ever.

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Just for Saddam

Monday, November 06, 2006
So, Saddam has been sentenced to death. I'd like to take this opportunity to dedicate a song for him, and the people in Iraq who are angry over the sentence. It's a song by the band Dope. It goes, "DIE MOTHERFUCKER DIE!"

Burn in hell, Saddam. I will meet you there in about 60 years.

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I've made a few changes in the layout. Go have a look around if you feel like :D. One obvious change is the removal of ads (I have Violent Acres phobia now. I don't want to get bashed for running ads and providing shit content :-S).Go have a look around for other major and minor changes. I would have implemented all these changes way back, if not for my college work. I'm hard pressed for time (and so the irregular posting), but from now on, I'm going to delay the college work and concentrate more on the blog (inspiration from Cap). Give me feedback on the changes, and report bugs, if you see any. More changes coming soon.

Oh, and whoever can list ALL the changes gets a cookie ;)

Celebrity Halloween

Friday, November 03, 2006
The great day came and went. Did you ever wonder how the celebrities would have celebrated Halloween? No? I didn't either. I couldn't care less. But then again, I haven't bashed celebrities for some time now. None of them have been upto anything silly. So I thought this would come as a good opportunity to make fun of them for no reason. I could make fun of them all, but then this post would go on for eternity. Here's what I imagined my top 5 hated celebrities would have been upto this Halloween.

Paris Hilton:

Skank. Enough said.

Need I say more? That costume is sure to knock the daylights (or nightlights) of Count Dracula. Imagine all the innocent people in Paris' neighborhood who had to give out candies to her.

Nicole Richie:

Ugly. Scary.

She doesn't need a costume to scare the shit out of her neighbors. Wearing no make up is enough. Look at what Lizze captured in her camera. The third one is totally hilarious, and justifies my point that this dangerously underweight, nepotistic socialite doesn't need make up to go around the neighborhood, frightening innocent people.

Britney Spears:

Holy shit!

LOL! I'll leave the commenting on that costume to you.

50 Cent:

That is all he is worth.

Imagine this throwaway rapper turned gangster goin' round da 'hood, poppin' hiz gun, rappin' and singin' Candy Shop. Trick-or-treating was never horrifying like that before.

Justin Timberlake:

Just when you thought it couldn't get worse than "Fitteay" Cent, enters a half bald headed, trying-to-act-black wigger, JT. The PG version of Eminem. I don't know about you, but I will not tolerate this gay man knocking on my door squeaking "Trick or treat!". You definitely don't want to hear the trick part, especially with your back against him. No picture included, because I don't post gay man pics on my blog. No sir.

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Halloween Scare

Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Yesterday, something weird happened. I went to bed a little late - around 2 AM. Just when I was about to turn off the lights and do my pillow (pfffss, as if YOU don't do your pillow), I heard a strange noise. The noise that you hear when a heavy piece of furniture is dragged. It was faint though. At first, I thought a burglar had broken into our house, and had accidently stumbled on our furniture. Then I heard it again. Unless the burglar was a complete idiot, like Violent Acres, he wouldn't stumble on the furniture again. So it had to be something else...

I got out of my room and searched the house. Nothing. I didn't hear the sound the whole time I was searching. So, I go back to my room. And there it was again. I was beginning to think it was some kind of monster... out to take a bite out of humans, one its first victims being me. There went the sound again, but with a different tone to it this time. I gathered enough courage to open my window and peep out. I laughed my ass off when I heard a pattern emerging (*grunt*grrrruuunnnnt*pfffszz* *grunt*grrrruuunnnnt*pfffszz*). In our neighboring house, which is a fair distance away, the grandpa living there was snoring out loud! Geez. And I was expecting Count Dracula to pop out from the darkness.

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Thanks to Caps' research, I came to know about Sweetney, Amalah, Violent Acres and all the emotional crap involved with them. After doing some more research on "mommy blogs" (Yes, I did it without Caps' or anyone else's help), I saw most of these mommies post pictures of their little ones. You know, the so called "cute" pictures... the "cuteness" you'll understand only if you're a mommy yourself. Another thing I noticed is, these mommies usually have a domain of their own, and run ads to make a few quick bucks. Hey, I'm not the jealous type. I don't mind anyone spinning money off of their blog. But in this case, the content happens to be their precious, little blue (or black or brown) eyed angels. Which translates to the mommies being responsible for the content, as they are using their kids to entertain the internet "masses". And masses translate to different kinds of people - stupid ones, morons (like me), intelligent ones, pedophiles and, physically and emotionally abused orphans like the owner of "Violent Acres", whoever he/she might be.

Mind you, I'm NOT supporting the half baked psycho here. Although I think what the crazy bitch (probably from Houston, Texas) did with the kids' photos were moronic, the concerned mommy is also at fault, to an extent. Don't you think converting your children into a traffic bait in the hopes that it will make some money sounds creepy? Indeed it does.

Before you click "comment" and try to bash me, let me tell you that I'm not totally against people blogging about their kids. But if you are pimping out your kids' cuteness for a few quick bucks, it is a little unpalatable. If you really do want to do that, you'd be better off giving the URL to people you know, trust and care. All I want to say is, kids aren't commercial content. But if you are going to publicly display personal photos, chances are you WILL be attacked by an emotionally abused bastard, not necessarily from Houston, Texas.

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