tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-288320562024-03-23T23:17:50.384+05:30Randumb Madness [Argh!]™Slimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16722193413711032787noreply@blogger.comBlogger175125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28832056.post-73815900349383707842007-06-20T02:00:00.000+05:302007-06-20T02:36:15.268+05:30Ending Hiatus and Sudoku for DummiesWhew! It's been quite a while since I blogged about something. I think I have taken a long enough break, and I think its that time now what people say "It's back to business". To be honest, I've completely forgotten how I've my blog coded for certain features to work, so designs and posts might be a little sloppy for some time. Old readers, hopefully you're keeping an eye for new<span class="fullpost"> posts in my blog, and welcome to any new readers out there. I hope you'll find some fun reading my blog! For my comeback, I thought I'd start off with a funny pic I made. Here it is:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJU8ABi1-_3f1RI_uevdNqlWjMLvDLydioE7TBUUsXpnmkG1j61k1OgtIWMZuqEEK6_2VeW8oVnMOTHCoBu3rDhqdOc0UzXJd60JXtKzIr64a8FOUXvYodSmj6AfbYWgN-I8JXIw/s1600-h/sudoku_dummies.PNG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJU8ABi1-_3f1RI_uevdNqlWjMLvDLydioE7TBUUsXpnmkG1j61k1OgtIWMZuqEEK6_2VeW8oVnMOTHCoBu3rDhqdOc0UzXJd60JXtKzIr64a8FOUXvYodSmj6AfbYWgN-I8JXIw/s320/sudoku_dummies.PNG" border="0" alt="Sudoku for Dummies" title="Sudoku for Dummies... Can YOU solve this puzzle?" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5077877959263685938" /></a><br /><br /></span><br /><div class="technorati">Technorati tags: <span class="tags"><a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Funny" rel="tag">Funny</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Humor" rel="tag">Humor</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Pic" rel="tag">Pic</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Comeback" rel="tag">Comeback</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Sudoku" rel="tag">Sudoku</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Puzzle" rel="tag">Puzzle</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Humour" rel="tag">Humour</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/LOL" rel="tag">LOL</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/ROFL" rel="tag">ROFL</a></span></div>Slimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16722193413711032787noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28832056.post-76962776843986609652007-04-21T19:06:00.000+05:302007-04-21T19:32:07.794+05:30Smartass GoogleGoogle can be such a smartass sometimes. To experience this yourself, go to <a href="http://maps.google.com" class="link">Google Maps</a>, and click on the <strong>Find Directions</strong> tab. Type in "<strong>New York, USA</strong>" in the <strong>start address</strong> box, and "<strong>Paris, France</strong>" in the <strong>end address</strong> box. Hit get directions, and scroll down the search results into the 20's and see why<span class="fullpost"> <strong>Google</strong> is a smart ass <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/4.gif" alt="Grin" />.<br /><br /><a href="http://img182.imageshack.us/img182/1296/nytofruz4.gif" title="Click for larger image"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;" src="http://img182.imageshack.us/img182/1296/nytofruz4.gif" alt="ROFL!" width="400" height="225" /></a><br /><br /><img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/24.gif" alt="ROFL!" /> <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/21.gif" alt="LMFAO" /> <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/20.gif" alt="OMFG!" /><br /><br /></span><br /><div class="technorati">Technorati tags: <span class="tags"><a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Google" rel="tag">Google</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Maps" rel="tag">Maps</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Google+Maps" rel="tag">Google Maps</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Funny" rel="tag">Funny</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Smartass" rel="tag">Smartass</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Humor" rel="tag">Humor</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Humour" rel="tag">Humour</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/New+York" rel="tag">New York</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Paris" rel="tag">Paris</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/France" rel="tag">France</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/USA" rel="tag">USA</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/America" rel="tag">America</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Directions" rel="tag">Directions</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Pic" rel="tag">Pic</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Hilarious" rel="tag">Hilarious</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/ROFL" rel="tag">ROFL</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/LMAO" rel="tag">LMAO</a></span></div>Slimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16722193413711032787noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28832056.post-60872486918169300132007-03-26T23:30:00.000+05:302007-03-26T23:45:32.582+05:30Awful Movie StuntIf you watched the movie "Hercules in New York" and thought the <i>stunts</i> in it were awful, you are right. I certainly did, especially that awful scene where Arnold fights with a bear... and you can clearly see the retard under the bear costume. Anyway, just when I thought it couldn't get goofier, one of my online friends, Trevor, sends me a stunt clip from<span class="fullpost"> an Indian movie... which is indeed goofier. Here's the clip...<br /><br /><object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" data="http://embed.break.com/MjU1MTE0" height="325" width="400" style="margin-left:auto;margin-right:auto;width:400px;display:block;"><param name="movie" value="http://embed.break.com/MjU1MTE0" /></object><br /><br />Funny as hell, isn't it? <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/24.gif" alt="ROFL" /> <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/21.gif" alt="LOL" /> <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/20.gif" alt="OMFGLOL" /><br /><br /></span><br /><div class="technorati">Technorati tags: <span class="tags"><a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Video" rel="tag">Video</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Goofy" rel="tag">Goofy</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Humor" rel="tag">Humor</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Funny" rel="tag">Funny</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Movie" rel="tag">Movie</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Stunt" rel="tag">Stunt</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Horse" rel="tag">Horse</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Indian" rel="tag">Indian</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/India" rel="tag">India</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Arnold+Schwarzenegger" rel="tag">Arnold Schwarzenegger</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Hercules" rel="tag">Hercules</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/New+York" rel="tag">New York</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Humour" rel="tag">Humour</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/ROFL" rel="tag">ROFL</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/LMAO" rel="tag">LMAO</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Awful" rel="tag">Awful</a></span></div><br />Slimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16722193413711032787noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28832056.post-61484419745686483142007-03-25T17:00:00.000+05:302007-03-25T18:33:17.320+05:30Cricket at its WorstWe're just two weeks into the Cricket World Cup '07 in the <strong>Carribean</strong>, and there is just too much news about it... for all the wrong reasons. This World Cup was slated to be the most boring of all since it began in 1975, but it has been making a lot of news, again for all the wrong reasons. It has been filled with controversies, from a funny one like the <a href="http://www.cricketworld.com/world_cup_2007/article/?aid=9881" class="link">fallen sight-screen</a> at a practice game to a horrible one like<span class="fullpost"> Pakistan team's coach, the great <strong>Bob Woolmer's</strong> <a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/cricket/6473645.stm" class="link">mysterious death</a>, especially soon after the shock defeat of the team to minnows Ireland.<br /><br />Add to this, the early exit of "Team India" after losses to Bangladesh and Sri Lanka, the excitement reduces a fair bit. And the controversies seem to be happening away from the <strong>Carribean</strong> as well. Pakistan captain Inzamam's <img src="http://content-ind.cricinfo.com/inline/content/image/270452.jpg?alt=1" style="float:right;display:inline;margin:5px, 5px, 5px, 5px;" alt="Angry fans" /> retirement probably was forced, both by the Pakistani management and the "passionate" cricket loving public of Pakistan, after their shock defeat and eventual exit from the Cup. The Indian public seem to be at the same level as their neighbor Pakistan, throwing stones and rampaigng the players' house, burning effigies of the captain and the coach, and a "mock funeral" of the team.<br /><br />Now, those of you who know me well would know how good I am at rants, and how I'm a cricket fanatic. And indeed I am disappointed by India's performance, but taking to the streets and causing havoc is... putting it simply, <strong>idiotic</strong>. I don't have much to say on this, except that if these cricket "fanatics" were equally demanding from our politicians as they are from our cricketers, and take to the streets every time a politician does something wrong, we wouldn't still be on the list of <strong>third world shitholes</strong>.<br /><br />It remains to be seen what more controversies (and news that is just not about cricket) unfold into the third, fourth and fifth weeks into the World Cup.</span><br /><br /><br /><div class="technorati">Technorati tags: <span class="tags"><a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Cricket" rel="tag">Cricket</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/India" rel="tag">India</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Pakistan" rel="tag">Pakistan</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Inzamam-ul-Haq" rel="tag">Inzamam-ul-Haq</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Bob+Woolmer" rel="tag">Bob Woolmer</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Ireland" rel="tag">Ireland</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Media" rel="tag">Media</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/World+Cup" rel="tag">World Cup</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Cup" rel="tag">Cup</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Carribean" rel="tag">Carribean</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/West+Indies" rel="tag">West Indies</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Politicians" rel="tag">Politicians</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Controversy" rel="tag">Controversy</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Defeat" rel="tag">Defeat</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Politics" rel="tag">Politics</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Death" rel="tag">Death</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Controversies" rel="tag">Controversies</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Rants" rel="tag">Rants</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Idiotic" rel="tag">Idiotic</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Cricketers" rel="tag">Cricketers</a></span></div><br />Slimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16722193413711032787noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28832056.post-32253158037382346722007-03-21T19:40:00.000+05:302007-03-21T20:51:41.086+05:30Chicken Eating Cow!<strong>Lal</strong> the Indian cow has good taste in a meal. Who likes dried grass, or damp hay anyway? That's exactly what the cow thought. And Lal, the non-vegetarian cow from Calcutta decided to treat itself to its <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/asiapcf/03/07/cow.eats.chickens.reut/index.html" class="link">master's chicken</a>. After a few rounds of chicken, the cow really fell in love with having chicken for lunch. And dinner. And breakfast. The cow kept chowing down and<span class="fullpost"> the chicken kept disappearing. The farmer family decided to stand guard at night at the cow shed, after 48 chickens went missing in one month. And they had the shock of their life when they caught their family cow red handed... err... red <strong>feeted</strong>?.<br /><br />Perhaps Lal is one of the cows in this picture...<br /><br /><img src="http://img58.imageshack.us/img58/120/eatmorechickenkyx7.jpg" style="display:block; margin-left:auto; margin-right:auto; text-align:center;" alt="Chicken eating Cow(s)" title="Mooooooo! Raw chicken owns fried chicken!" /><br /><br />An expert vet says the cow's strange behavior is due to "lack of vital minerals in the body". Whatever that means <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/29.gif" alt="Rolling Eyes" />. I think the cow was a tiger in its past life, just like the villagers believe. Villagers are always right. Apparently, there are videos of the cow achieving this feat, but I haven't found one yet. It would have been totally brutal, posting a video along with this post! What's even funnier is that the <strong>CNN</strong> article uses "<strong>his</strong>" atleast <i>once</i> to describe the <strong>cow</strong>. But whatever, Lal sure provided us with some LOL. Score one for Indian cows.</span><br /><br /><br /><div class="technorati">Technorati tags: <span class="tags"><a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Cow" rel="tag">Cow</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Chicken" rel="tag">Chicken</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Pic" rel="tag">Pic</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Funny" rel="tag">Funny</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Humor" rel="tag">Humor</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Weird" rel="tag">Weird</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Offbeat" rel="tag">Offbeat</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/LOL" rel="tag">LOL</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/LMAO" rel="tag">LMAO</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/LMFAO" rel="tag">LMFAO</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/ROFL" rel="tag">ROFL</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Humour" rel="tag">Humour</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Goofy" rel="tag">Goofy</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/India" rel="tag">India</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Indian" rel="tag">Indian</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Treat" rel="tag">Treat</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Farmer" rel="tag">Farmer</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Villagers" rel="tag">Villagers</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Vet" rel="tag">Vet</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Tiger" rel="tag">Tiger</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Animal" rel="tag">Animal</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Animals" rel="tag">Animals</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Strange" rel="tag">Strange</a></span></div><br />Slimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16722193413711032787noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28832056.post-87977681756891764112007-03-16T22:36:00.000+05:302007-03-17T00:29:38.895+05:30The Importance of ThumbI didn't realize the thumb was so important for everyday life. Actually, I never cared about the thumb... until I cut myself. No. It was not out of an emo moment. It was an accident. Honest! If you don't believe me, screw you! I was trying to cut the damn tag with a blade from this new shirt I bought, and <strong>whamo</strong>! I was in a hurry and didn't realize I should be taking it slow, and that I should have had my fingers away from the direction the blade<span class="fullpost"> was "travelling".<br /><br />Anyway, I just realized the importance of thumb, even though it has no use in derogatory gestures. I can't lift a damn spoon properly, can't dial a number, can't lift things. Heck, I can't even move the mouse properly without my thumb. The only thing I could possibly think of doing without the thumb now is taking a shit. And then just now, with some trouble, I made a little <strong>GIF</strong> to humor myself. Here it is:<br /><br /><a href="http://img158.imageshack.us/img158/5995/dummieslj9.gif" title="Razor for Dummies" class="link"><img src="http://img158.imageshack.us/img158/5995/dummieslj9.gif" style="display:inline; text-align:center;" alt="Razor for Dummies!" width="159" height="200" /></a><br /><br />And by the way, I'm going to sue the shirt company for having 495783452 damned tags on their shirt.</span><br /><br /><div class="technorati"><span class="tags">Technorati tags: <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Emo" rel="tag">Emo</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Funny" rel="tag">Funny</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Humor" rel="tag">Humor</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Pic" rel="tag">Pic</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Dummy" rel="tag">Dummy</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Razor" rel="tag">Razor</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Dummies" rel="tag">Dummies</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Humour" rel="tag">Humour</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Thumb" rel="tag">Thumb</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Cut" rel="tag">Cut</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Finger" rel="tag">Finger</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Shirt" rel="tag">Shirt</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Tags" rel="tag">Tags</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/LOL" rel="tag">LOL</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/ROFL" rel="tag">ROFL</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/LMAO" rel="tag">LMAO</a></span></div><br />Slimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16722193413711032787noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28832056.post-82380333750122934872007-03-11T22:43:00.000+05:302007-03-14T00:52:50.027+05:30Fence Plowing. Wow."<strong>Fence plowing</strong>". It's the new in-thing amongst American teenagers with no life. First, it was <a href="http://slimspeare.blogspot.com/2006/10/of-all-moronic-things.html" title="The second most retarded thing ever" class="link">Ghostriding</a>. Just when I thought it was the lamest idea anyone could come up with, someone outdid their retarded self and came up with this <strong>fence plowing</strong> (Actually, it was me. Everyone everywhere knows that, but one Adam Schwarzenneger-something got his 15 minutes of fame before I could call up <strong>Fox</strong> news <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/2.gif" alt ="sad" />). Here's the<span class="fullpost"> video:<br /><br /><object width="400" height="300" data="http://www.youtube.com/v/-WNSCpEl2GA" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"><br /><param value="http://www.youtube.com/v/-WNSCpEl2GA" name="movie" /></object><br /><br />AhEm <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/22.gif" alt="straight face" />... Two things... First, <strong>Fox news</strong> is groundbreaking. Any channel that interviews the lowest common denominator of the society is groundbreaking. Way to go. Give the producers a cookie. Second, like this one commenter on <strong>YouTube</strong> points out:<br /><br /><blockquote>Perhaps somebody should point out that, a few weeks ago when the story first aired on FOX and they were saying it's "the latest teen craze", there were only 7 returns on you tube and 94 on Google when I search "Fence plowing". Up until that point, I've never even heard of the thing. "Now there are a whole bunch of fence plowers on you tube" as they say in this recent video. Now I get 12 replies on you tube and 120,000 on Google. <strong>Perhaps it was actually FOX that pioneered teens destroying your expensive privacy fence. Way to go FOX. Score one for the team. F' Yeah!</strong></blockquote><br /><br />Here's another video of a common denominator so low that he's a negative integer:<br /><br /><object data="http://www.youtube.com/v/p14TIHzoC7E" width="400" height="300" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"><param value="http://www.youtube.com/v/p14TIHzoC7E" name="movie" /></object><br /><br />If John Kerry saw these video's, he'd go, "Go get some education, son! Or you'll end up in Iraq!". And he is right. Retards like these would be useful in Iraq to tackle them suicide bombers. Even if they die in the process, there's not much to lose. Good riddance.<br /><br />Oh by the way, watch out for these idiots in your neighborhood. And don't be shy to take them out with your shotgun. And if you happen to have a brick fence, then you could put a fake wooden fence around it, and watch the fun if these idiots arrive in your neighborhood. You could even record it on video and put it on YouTube to get your fifteen seconds of fame.</span><br /><br /><div class="technorati"><span class="tags">Technorati tags: <a href="http://www.technorati.com/tag/Fence+Plowing" rel="tag">Fence Plowing</a>, <a href="http://www.technorati.com/tag/Humor" rel="tag">Humor</a>, <a href="http://www.technorati.com/tag/Stupid" rel="tag">Stupid</a>, <a href="http://www.technorati.com/tag/Retards" rel="tag">Retards</a>, <a href="http://www.technorati.com/tag/Video" rel="tag">Video</a>, <a href="http://www.technorati.com/tag/YouTube" rel="tag">YouTube</a>, <a href="http://www.technorati.com/tag/Fox" rel="tag">Fox</a>, <a href="http://www.technorati.com/tag/Teenagers" rel="tag">Teenagers</a>, <a href="http://www.technorati.com/tag/Idiots" rel="tag">Idiots</a>, <a href="http://www.technorati.com/tag/Rants" rel="tag">Rants</a>, <a href="http://www.technorati.com/tag/Random" rel="tag">Random</a>, <a href="http://www.technorati.com/tag/Morons" rel="tag">Morons</a>, <a href="http://www.technorati.com/tag/Bums" rel="tag">Bums</a>, <a href="http://www.technorati.com/tag/WTF" rel="tag">WTF</a></span></div><br />Slimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16722193413711032787noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28832056.post-42893412252108032602007-03-09T23:25:00.000+05:302007-03-09T02:36:59.544+05:30World Cup: A PreviewCricket's biggest event is just four days away, and I can't <strong>wait</strong>! It seems days away, though its very close. It's like when you want to pee urgently, you don't want to hold it in any longer and just want to open the flood gates, but the restroom seems miles away. That's how I'm feeling at the moment! That Australia got anally raped by England first, then New Zealand makes things more interesting, because this one wouldn't<span class="fullpost"> (hopefully) be a one-sided event like it was the last time around.<br /><br />This is probably India's best chance at winning the Cup, since most sides are plagued by injuries. It was a miracle that India got through to the finals the last World Cup<img style="float:left; margin:10px 10px 10px 4px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyZ2ba51a1aCX65MUURUArvxY6zQpLFelxrYjyMBOXGoxRqq_4XPwTIbGyas5NVpOJIsMDKicMKSPBrEA5du2lvhMMrl8vDV55tTRMkLzTLJlmSPOk_pPvC44KFi2ZMNZq_05F1w/s320/big_three.jpg" border="0" alt="Rahul Dravid, Sourav Ganguly and Sachin Tendulkar" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5039656091864961634" width="150" height="104" /> with a weaker side than the present one. Plus, the momentum was missing last time, after the team was anally raped by New Zealand (not that there might be a coincidence of the Aussies getting into the finals this time around). But this time, we're the only team along with South Africa, England and New Zealand to go into the World Cup with a winning momentum.<br /><br />Though you'd hear almost every other person (even those who don't know <strong>anything</strong> about cricket, but want to show off), <img style="float:right; margin:10px 8px 10px 10px;" src="http://www.cricket-worldcup.net/images/trophy.jpg" border="0" alt="World Cup 2007" width="100" height="132" />including half-baked sports anchors and dumbass celebrities say that this is anyone's World Cup, I personally feel only a couple of teams have the firepower last till glory - Australia, South Africa, India and <i>maybe</i> Sri Lanka, if their batting form picks up. New Zealand getting defeated by Bangladesh only adds to the uncertainity of the game, and now India would have to watch their backs because Bangladesh figures in the same group in the first round, and are capable of beating most top teams on their day!<br /><br />The hyped up "big hitters" of the game - Kemp, Dhoni, Pieterson etc. would be put to test for their patience and consistency in the newly laid wickets in the Carribean. Heck, I'm surprised a big hitter like me never made it to even the State team. I'm sure I'll be 23.869% more consistent than M.S. Dhoni, and that'd mean a heck of a lot for India. I still remember the day when I was playing street cricket with a few of my friends, I hit a strong leg side shot and it hit one of my neighbor so hard in the cheek that she had to have her molar teeth <strong>removed</strong>!<br /><br />But as long as India can last the distance in the World Cup, I'd have no grudges against the political bastards who come in the way of every prospective future cricketer.<br /><br />Batsmen to watch out for: <strong>Ricky Ponting, Graeme Smith, Sachin Tendulkar, Inzamam Ul-Haq, Rahul Dravid, Mike Hussey, Sanath Jayasuriya, Chris Gayle.</strong><br /><br /><img src="http://specials.rediff.com/cricket/2006/mar/12slide6.jpg" style="display:inline;" width="170" height="190" alt="Ricky Ponting" /> <img src="http://www.newindpress.com/sports/worldcup2003/images/tendulkar.jpg" style="display:inline;" width="220" height="190" alt="Sachin Tendulkar" /> <img src="http://www.lords.org/data/images/width150/gayleengvwi-35439.jpg" style="display:inline;" width="130" height="190" alt="Chris Gayle" /><br /><br />Bowlers to watch out for: <strong>Glenn McGrath, Makhaya Ntini, Shaun Pollock, Chaminda Vaas, Muttiah Muralitharan, Sanath Jayasuriya, Anil Kumble, Zaheer Khan, Shane Bond, Monty Panesar, Liam Plunkett.</strong><br /><br /><img src="http://static.ecb.co.uk/images/width150/glenn-mcgrath-6253.jpg" style="display:inline;" alt="Glenn McGrath" /> <img src="http://www.southafrica.net/image/modules/ServeFile.cfm?FileID=6767" height="200" width="111" alt="Shaun Pollock" style="display:inline;" /> <img src="http://www.abc.net.au/reslib/200512/r66165_182929.jpg" height="200" width="200" alt="Shane Bond" style="display:inline;" /></span><br /><br /><br /><div class="technorati"><span class="tags">Technorati tags: <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/World+Cup" rel="tag">World Cup</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Cricket" rel="tag">Cricket</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/India" rel="tag">India</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Australia" rel="tag">Australia</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Sri+Lanka" rel="tag">Sri Lanka</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/South+Africa" rel="tag">South Africa</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/West Indies" rel="tag">West Indies</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Carribean" rel="tag" >Carribean</a> <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/2007 World Cup" rel="tag">2007 World Cup</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Sachin Tendulkar" rel="tag">Sachin Tendulkar</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Rahul Dravid" rel="tag">Rahul Dravid</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Ricky Ponting" rel="tag">Ricky Ponting</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Glenn McGrath" rel="tag">Glenn McGrath</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Shane Bond" rel="tag">Shane Bond</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Sanath Jayasuriya" rel="tag">Sanath Jayasuriya</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Chris+Gayle" rel="tag">Chris Gayle</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Shaun Pollock" rel="tag" >Shaun Pollock</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/England" rel="tag">England</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Entertainment" rel="tag">Entertainment</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Sports" rel="tag">Sports</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Exciting" rel="tag">Exciting</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Bangladesh" rel="tag">Bangladesh</a></span></div><br />Slimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16722193413711032787noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28832056.post-21665964093043212382007-02-28T23:39:00.000+05:302007-03-01T00:54:14.188+05:30Funny AdsGoogle Ad's these days errr... actually <strong>contextual</strong> Google ads these days are really random. And hilarious. So hilarious, it gets me - a <i>moderately</i> depressed lonely guy - rolling on the floor, laughing out loud. I could have put it ROFLOL, but I like typing long sentences. I'm nerdy like that.<span class="fullpost"><br /><br /><a href="http://img442.imageshack.us/img442/7681/funnyadrd2.gif" title="Click for larger view"><img src="http://img442.imageshack.us/img442/7681/funnyadrd2.gif" alt="contextualadroflol" width="302" height="154" /></a>.<br /><br /><a href="http://capricorncringe.blogspot.com">Cap's</a> advice to me on depression generated a couple of really hilarious ads. Well, it was hilarious to me atleast. Contextual ads do have a purpose... to entertain and make people roll on the floor and laugh their ass off. But <strong>not</strong> for generating $$$, as I found out the hard way <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/2.gif" alt="sad" />. Perhaps Google should rethink their product name... <strong>Google AdNonSense</strong> seems like a good idea <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/4.gif" alt="grin" />.</span><br /><br /><div class="technorati"><span class="tags">Technorati tags: <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Contextual+Ads" rel="tag">Contextual Ads</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Contextual+Advertising" rel="tag" class="techtag">Contextual Advertising</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Google" rel="tag" class="techtag">Google</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/AdSense" rel="tag" class="techtag">AdSense</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Funny" rel="tag" class="techtag">Funny</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Humor" rel="tag" class="techtag">Humor</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Hilarious" rel="tag" class="techtag">Hilarious</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Humour" rel="tag" class="techtag">Humour</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/ROFL" rel="tag" class="techtag">ROFL</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/LOL" rel="tag" class="techtag">LOL</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Pic" rel="tag" class="techtag">Pic</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Personal" rel="tag" class="techtag">Personal</a></span></div>Slimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16722193413711032787noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28832056.post-18989626465586696192007-02-24T23:52:00.000+05:302007-03-08T23:16:35.910+05:3020 Reasons I Want to be a Dog1. I could pee anywhere I want to, and no one would complain.<br /><br />2. No one would complain if I grow/don't shave off hair in "unusual" places.<br /><br />3. I could wake up and go to sleep anytime I want<br /><br />4. There would be no stupid rules in "dating games", like "oooh, you gotta be handsome and wear tight leather pants and have<span class="fullpost"> a 15 inch schlong to get laid". Even a pug is considered cute.<br /><br /><img src="http://img530.imageshack.us/img530/8616/pugra6.jpg" alt="Pug" title="Pug" style="display:block; margin:0px auto 0px; text-align:center;" /><br />5. I could fuck any random bitch (no pun intended) I want.<br /><br />6. I could eat whenever I please. I'd just have to wag my tail at my dumbass "master", make a puppy face and I've just got my meal!<br /><br />7. I don't have to take the pains to bath, someone will do that for me.<br /><br />8. I just do some stupid tricks in front of chicks, and I've got myself some hotties for fans.<br /><br /><img src="http://img255.imageshack.us/img255/2738/pool5504yi4.jpg" alt="Dogs Bathing" title="Bathing would be fun if I were a dog" style="display:block; margin:0px auto 0px; text-align:center;" height="154" width="213" /><br />9. There are no everyday human worries. I'd get to lie around all day in my doghouse.<br /><br />10. I'd get to bite random people who I find stupid.<br /><br />11. I would have atleast <strong>one best friend</strong> if I were a dog.<br /><br />12. I could pant and drool over chicks as much as I want to and they wouldn't look at me like I'm some kind of creep.<br /><br />13. I could get into a hot chicks lap by just wagging my tail.<br /><br />14. I would finally get to hear what a "dog whistle" sounds like.<br /><br />15. I don't think dogs suffer from bipolar disorder and depression.<br /><br />16. No one would complain if I go around town chasing cats like they would if I did it now.<br /><br />17. I have more chances of appearing on a movie if I were a dog.<br /><br />18. There are no disgraces to Dogkind like there is to Humankind like <strong>Paris Hilton</strong>, <a href="http://slimspeare.blogspot.com/2007/02/american-tard.html">Ian Benardo</a> and <strong>Britney Spears</strong>.<br /><br />19. There aren't any corporate dickheads in the Dogkind.<br /><br />20. Woof woof!</span><br /><br /><div class="technorati"><span class="tags">Technorati tags: <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Dogs" rel="tag">Dogs</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Random" rel="tag">Random</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Life" rel="tag">Life</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Funny" rel="tag">Funny</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Humor" rel="tag">Humor</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Dog" rel="tag">Dog</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Humour" rel="tag">Humour</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/LOL" rel="tag">LOL</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/ROFL" rel="tag">ROFL</a></span></div><br />Slimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16722193413711032787noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28832056.post-56933042646338361852007-02-22T23:11:00.000+05:302007-02-22T23:20:32.399+05:30Wisdom of the Slim - 2<strong>English teacher</strong>: "In English, a double negative forms a positive. But there is no language where a double positive can form a negative."<br /><br /><strong>Smartass Slim</strong>: "Yeah, right."<br /><br /><div class="technorati"><span class="tags">Technorati tags: <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Smartass" rel="tag">Smartass</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/English" rel="tag">English</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Language" rel="tag">Language</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Humor" rel="tag">Humor</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Humour" rel="tag">Humour</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Funny" rel="tag">Funny</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/ROFL" rel="tag">ROFL</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/LOL" rel="tag">LOL</a></span></div>Slimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16722193413711032787noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28832056.post-29004175802934677652007-02-22T22:10:00.000+05:302007-03-08T23:18:39.944+05:30It's Been A While......since I posted something. In fact, its been a while since I've been "normal". The irregular posting started about a month ago, and I've ever since been trying to figure out what the problem is. Self analysis is boring, <i>and</i> its something I can do without. I'd rather prefer a nagging girlfriend. But heck, I'm doing it anyway.<br /><br />Below is a little "checklist" I'm making to analyze<span class="fullpost"> the possible reasons:<br /><br />1. <del>Bloggers block</del> - Can't be. I have shitloads of material to post, some of them I can't because its not "news" anymore.<br /><br />2. Depression.<br /><br />3. Laziness - Hell yeah! I've always been lazy, more so recently because of the depression.<br /><br />4. Deprsssion.<br /><br />5. <del>Lack of interest to post</del> - No!<br /><br />6. Depression.<br /><br />7. Too much time spent on fixing and updating the template - I can't help it, I'm a perfectionist... almost <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/46.gif" alt="*sigh*" />.<br /><br />8. Depression.<br /><br />9. Overtime on achieving xHTML validity - That is a bitch, but I had about 350+ errors which I've narrowed it down to 10.<br /><br />10. Depression - I know I sound emo here, but fuck you! I <i>am</i> depressed!<br /><br /><br />I need professional help. I think. <strong>Or</strong> I should stop hanging out on MySpace, full of emo kids.</span><br /><br /><div class="technorati"><span class="tags">Technorati tags: <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Depression" rel="tag">Depression</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Life" rel="tag">Life</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Personal" rel="tag">Personal</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Blog" rel="tag">Blog</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/MySpace" rel="tag">MySpace</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Emo" rel="tag">Emo</a></span></div><br />Slimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16722193413711032787noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28832056.post-17625397813743174262007-02-14T22:27:00.000+05:302007-03-21T20:53:07.307+05:30Cupid = AssholeCupid is an asshole. After all, all he could hook me up with in the past were losers. The first one, a Dutch bitch (exactly a fucking year ago). Just when I thought I'd forgotten that episode of my <del>wonderful</del> pathetic life, the <i>14th </i> of February shows up <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/29.gif" alt="rolling eyes" />. Then <strong>Asshole</strong> hooked me up with an Indian whore (don't even ask) and more recently, the crush I had on <a href="http://slimspeare.blogspot.com/2006/10/umm-err-ah-so-uh.html" class="link">hot chick</a> turned out to be a dead end. She is the <strong>dumbest</strong> chick I've <strong>ever</strong><span class="fullpost"> met! Dumber than the hot blonde chick with big boobs aka Pamela Anderson.<br /><br />Luckily for me though, there is a way to vent my anger. I could join <a href="http://www.dfw.com/mld/dfw/news/16704387.htm" class="link">these idiots</a> and go around town beating couples to quench my <strong>jealousy</strong>. You see, I get pissed off when I see couples hugging and kissing and I'm left only with little <a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=johnson" class="link">Johnson</a> to <i>talk</i> to <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/2.gif" alt="sad" />. Those extremist assholes may be ashamed to admit it, but I'm not. Not at all. I'm jealous. And little Johnson is getting depressed being all alone. Maybe I should register at some personals site. Maybe I shouldn't, because the love-arrow wielding sonofabitch might hook me up with a pedophile for all I know. Ah fuck it <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/46.gif" alt="sigh" />.<br /><br /><object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" height="350" width="350" data="http://www.youtube.com/v/1sxO3HDiJTA"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/1sxO3HDiJTA" /></object></span><br /><br /><div class="technorati"><span class="tags">Technorati tags: <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Valentines+Day" rel="tag">Valentines Day</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Valentine" rel="tag">Valentine</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Valentines" rel="tag">Valentines</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Love" rel="tag">Love</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Life" rel="tag">Life</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Relationships" rel="tag">Relationships</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Pamela+Anderson" rel="tag">Pamela Anderson</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Boobs" rel="tag">Boobs</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Personal" rel="tag">Personal</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Bitch" rel="tag">Bitch</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Asshole" rel="tag">Asshole</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Cupid" rel="tag">Cupid</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Politics" rel="tag">Politics</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Shiv+Sena" rel="tag">Shiv Sena</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/VHP" rel="tag">VHP</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Video" rel="tag">Video</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/YouTube" rel="tag">YouTube</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Humor" rel="tag">Humor</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Humour" rel="tag">Humour</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Hindu" rel="tag">Hindu</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Muslim" rel="tag">Muslim</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Anti-Valentine" rel="tag">Anti-Valentine</a></span></div>Slimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16722193413711032787noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28832056.post-46014135852394840902007-02-12T21:02:00.000+05:302007-03-21T20:54:13.972+05:30Randumb RamblingsMariah Carey is me hero. She calls herself <strong>prude</strong> and poses for <a href="http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20070206/ennew_afp/afpentertainmentmusic_070206003030" class="link">Playboy</a>.<br />I'm forming an <strong>exploratory committee</strong> to explore why I shouldn't be <strong>President</strong>. Anyone interested in joining the committee may contact me.<br />Romano Prodi should just shut the fuck up and go back to Italy and handle his "tough coaliation Government" rather than kissing Indian politician ass.<br />Bipolar is on the rise I think, one of my friends has just been declared bipolar, along with a few others I know.<br />Pictures of Ashley Massaro turned me on, but<span class="fullpost"> helping my dad chase this wall climbing frog sonofbitch just now turned me off.<br />I've gotten even more turned off now, I just recieved a spam comment on the "New Template!" post (Thank you Cap and Lizze <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/22.gif" alt="straight face" />).<br /><br />Bad girls suck, good girls swallow.<br /><a href="http://www.last.fm/music/Dimension+Zero" class="link">Dimension Zero</a> is one of the most underrated bands.<br />Operator logos piss me off. I don't like it covering up the boobies in my cellphone wallpapers.<br />I have a dentist appointment tomorrow and I'm shit scared of dentists. I hope I don't bite this dentist chick tomorrow.<br /><a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=cZ2aX-Lgh6M" class="link">This</a> retarded wrestling fan would make anyone ROFL.<br />With all the talk about technological improvements and advancement of mankind, they still don't have a painless way of tooth removal/filling.<br />I remember a year ago, I almost had sex in a 3D chat, but the chick got disconnected and I'm hung like a horse ever since.<br />They say opposites attract, then how come super hot and pretty chicks never date me?<br />People think <strong>Mr. T</strong> is unintelligent because he uses what we believe to be made up words like <strong>jibba jabba</strong>. However those words are the answers to the most complicated mathematical problems in the universe. Mr. T. has known this his entire life and does not tell anyone because ones brain would implode if you tried to comprehend the question. Mr. T. pities those who try.<br /><br />I think I need a shave. Down there too.<br />Rap, hip-hop and electronic music are the worst forms of music known to mankind.<br />The <strong>Dixie Chicks</strong> and <strong>Carrie Underwood</strong> don't deserve Grammys.<br />At this rate, Leonardo <strong>Dick</strong>caprio and <strong>Cars</strong> are going to walk away with the <strong>Oscars</strong><br />On the 0th day, Mr. T created God. Then he made God do the rest of the work while Mr. T pitied him.<br />This is getting quite lame, 'cause I'm not used to being random on short notice.<br />I hate it when I allow people to give free adivce, they don't... and when I don't want it, I'm flooded with free advice.<br />I want to post about the cricket <strong>World Cup</strong> and the Indian team announced for it today, but I'm too sleepy now.<br />I was going to make another random Mr. T Fact, but he pitied me into not doing it.</span><br /><br /><div class="technorati"><span class="tags">Technorati tags: <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Random" rel="tag">Random</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Funny" rel="tag">Funny</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Humor" rel="tag">Humor</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Life" rel="tag">Life</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Blogging" rel="tag">Blogging</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Mariah+Carey" rel="tag">Mariah Carey</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Playboy" rel="tag">Playboy</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Romano+Prodi" rel="tag">Romano Prodi</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Politics" rel="tag">Politics</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Italy" rel="tag">Italy</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Mr.+T" rel="tag">Mr. T</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Oscars" rel="tag">Oscars</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Academy+Awards" rel="tag">Academy Awards</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Grammys" rel="tag">Grammys</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Dixie+Chicks" rel="tag">Dixie Chicks</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Ashley+Massaro" rel="tag">Ashley Massaro</a></span></div>Slimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16722193413711032787noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28832056.post-11017525453372927772007-02-07T22:13:00.000+05:302007-02-22T23:01:53.317+05:30American TardSomeone should start a show called <strong>American Tard</strong> and put all the idiots who audition in <strong>American Idol</strong> in the show. Sometimes these idiots try to be so funny, its not funny at all. And yes, unfortunately I watched American Idol for a second time. But what I saw in it was enough to make me never watch it again. Take a look at this retard...<span class="fullpost"><br /><br /><object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" height="350" width="400" data="http://www.youtube.com/v/lBzctpeJaxk"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/lBzctpeJaxk" /></object><br /><br />Ian Benardo. He's even got his name on his T-Shirt in case he gets lost in Wal-Mart. And he wants to be the next American Idol... great. He is a <i>superstar</i>, a singer and a dancer. He is also a pathological liar. He even calls the road kill he found "wealthy fur". He must be the resultant of a family that lied to him as a child too many times about talent. He says he has two therapists... wonder which one of them shoved him off to the other.<br /><br />His singing... I'm surprised Cowell, Paula and Randy haven't had a breakdown since they met him. "Gloria... Gloria...", what a faggot. We might probably see Paula drunk again on TV after that. And Oh. My. God. He actually says "thank you" after Randy is all <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/43.gif" alt="Hypnotized" />. "Are you real? Is... is this real", Randy goes. Yes, he is real... a real <strong>moron</strong>. And Simon must be getting soft, his criticism was real mellow. Or he must have learned to deal with the mentally retarded. "It's just rubbish". "Rubbish? That's British for garbage?" Oh wow. Give the man a cookie, he actually knows what rubbish means.<br /><br />I'm amazed Simon got bored, I was laughing my ass off just like Paula and the guest judge. He can have his face right there on the sign, but it would read <strong>American Tard</strong>. Or better yet, he should have his face on the side of a milk carton with "<strong>missing</strong>" written on his big forehead. I doubt anyone would claim to be his family though. And now, he's out there wandering the streets. Watch out people.</span><br /><br /><div class="technorati"><span class="tags">Technorati tags: <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Retard" rel="tag">Retard</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Idiot" rel="tag">Idiot</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Stupid" rel="tag">Stupid</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Funny" rel="tag">Funny</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Humor" rel="tag">Humor</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Closet+Gay" rel="tag">Closet Gay</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/American+Idol" rel="tag">American Idol</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Entertainment" rel="tag">Entertainment</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Humour" rel="tag">Humour</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Video" rel="tag">Video</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/YouTube" rel="tag">YouTube</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Tard" rel="tag">Tard</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Faggot" rel="tag">Faggot</a></span></div>Slimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16722193413711032787noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28832056.post-83216618472995023182007-02-06T23:09:00.000+05:302007-02-22T23:02:29.520+05:30Harry Potter HelplineFor all those who laughed when I said <strong>Harry Potter</strong> sucked, <a href="http://www.japantoday.com/jp/news/398104">here's</a> a bit of news to prove myself right. Apparently, a retailer book store is opening up a <strong>"Harry Potter Helpline"</strong> for <i>distressed</i> fans. Hmm. That's gotta mean <i>something</i>. Something in the lines of "this series of books suck so much that it even makes stupid teenagers depressed".<br /><br />So, two characters are going to be "killed off" in the "final" installation of the book. I hope one of them is Potty pants himself. If he lives, we can be sure <strong>Rowling</strong> would attempt a "the real" final installation when she <i>someday</i> becomes<span class="fullpost"> a broke, single mother again after spending all that British Pounds on luxury and "charity". Harry Potter Helpline, getting depressed (distressed?) over lame fantasy characters... this is proof that there are more stupid people than me out there. All the media frenzy, all that hype... British media and the media in general keep finding ways to go beyond rock bottom. Did I mention this was a third page story in our newspaper? What's next? Jade Goody's own series of racist books???<br /><br />It seems anyone can make a quick buck by slapping in some goofy fantasy story and weird characters. In fact, I'm gonna work on a novel myself (with <a href="http://capricorncringe.blogspot.com">Cap's</a> help, of course). Just add a goofy storyline, characters with corny names, made up words (right out of a bad dream), some sex scenes and we've just got ourselves a bestseller... and maybe a box-office hit as well, if it pleases the Hollywood Gods. Oh man, think of all the things I could buy with all that money... all that fame... all those hot chicks Cap and I would enjoy! Hollywood, here I come!</span><br /><br /><div class="technorati"><span class="tags">Technorati tags: <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Harry+Potter" rel="tag">Harry Potter</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Books" rel="tag">Books</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Movies" rel="tag">Movies</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Fandom" rel="tag">Fandom</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Humor" rel="tag">Humor</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Humour" rel="tag">Humour</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Funny" rel="tag">Funny</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Corny" rel="tag">Corny</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Blogging" rel="tag">Blogging</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Lame" rel="tag">Lame</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Rowling" rel="tag">Rowling</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Depressing" rel="tag">Depressing</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Helpline" rel="tag">Helpline</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Death" rel="tag">Death</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/WTF" rel="tag">WTF</a></span></div>Slimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16722193413711032787noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28832056.post-82913034047088310482007-02-04T21:55:00.000+05:302007-02-26T00:18:46.477+05:30Party RantsFinally! I get to rant about the "party" I attended about four of days ago. It's a surprise I could hold it in for this long! Before I begin, this might seem a long post. But trust me, I've made it as humorous as possible. It's a good read (atleast I think so). So don't get all "oh man this is long" and read on. So with that said, let me get to the gory details.<br /><br />We (My dad and I) were to go there in a rental car. A <strong>boxy</strong> rental car, actually. One with uncomfortable leg space. Well, any car I get in has bad leg space, 'cause I'm an unusually tall guy. Add to that, a <strike>little</strike> <strong>heavy</strong> traffic. One that won't move an inch for half an hour. Enough to make my crotch<span class="fullpost"> all wrinkly and painful. You would imagine traffic <i>can</i> be fun, given that there are a few hotties around in the nearby vehicles. That's a negative as well. I only find in front of me, 20 teenagers packed into the back of a mini truck, five of them sitting on the edge. And it's very difficult to look around for chicks, with all that smoky vehicle fart that some people call an emission.<br /><br />So there I am, stuck in the fucking traffic, right. I start getting a little dizzy, with all that smoke. I guess no one follows emission standards. Luck is something when you're in such a situation, you'd find a way out of it... like turn on the air conditioner, and roll up the windows. Bad luck is when the boxy rental doesn't have an A/C. Really bad luck is when the boxy rental doesn't have an A/C <strong>and</strong> the day is realtively hot that you can't roll up the windows. So there I am, really desperate for <strike>a hot chick</strike> air. <strong>Clean</strong> air. I slowly start to lose consciousness. And then, a miracle happens. No, I don't see Jesus. The traffic gets a move on.<br /><br />Not for long though. Fifty feet later, it stops again. Luckily though, in five minutes, the traffic is clear. We show up at the party 45 minutes late. Thankfully. I mean, whats a party without hot chicks in tank tops and revealing clothes, without drinking, without good music etc. Even if the party is a celebration of 25 years of married life (My sister-in-law's uncle and <strong>A</strong>unt). Before I continue the rant, I gotta salute my sister-in-law's uncle, for its a great feat to have survived the 25 years of shit his wife put him through. No wonder he is prematurely gray, and bald. Well, semi bald. Okay, back to the party. Just when you would think it can't get any worse than not having hot chicks in bikinis, it actually <strong>does</strong> get worse...<br /><br />"And how can it?", you ask? With stupid "games". See, this place was relatively small, but atleast 50-60 people had made it to the party. So it was naturally crowded. This place had four pillars right in the middle, forming a square. Imagine the roof having four legs, like a table and you'll get a clear picture. And for this first "game", all the 60 people had to go in circles around it when a stupid music played. Sort of like musical chairs. Each pillar was given the name of a city. When the music stopped, everyone had to "grab" a pillar, while the "conductor" would randomly shout out the name of one of the selected four city's name. Whoever were touching that pillar were out of the game, and the game continued till only one person was left. Oh. My. God <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/29.gif" alt="Rolling Eyes" />. And its nothing to be proud of when someone wins this game, its as childish as it can get. But no, one of the elder sisters of <strong>A</strong> won (lets call her <strong>Loudmouth</strong>) <i>and</i> she started boasting. Like she had won the FIFA world cup for her team single handedly. (I made it almost to the end and almost won, if I do say so myself <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/71.gif" alt="Giggle" />).<br /><br />"HEY SON! TAKE A PICTURE OF ME!!!", Loudmouth screamed to her son. And everybody pretended it sounded funny and let out supressed laughter. Atleast I did. Then came the next game. For this one, all the sixty people were divided into three groups, and this game would consist of four rounds of tasks, and whoever had the maximum points at the end would win. "Ah, finally! Something that involves teamwork and could actually <strong>be</strong> fun!", I thought. I was going to be wrong, of course.<br /><br />My dad was in another team, and he was made the leader of his group, which was not a big surprise since he is a natural leader. Loudmouth was the leader of another team (thank God for that), and some unknown person (must be a relative of <strong>A</strong>) was the "leader" of the group I was in. First round. The leader had to arrange the group members in an ascending-descending order of height, alternatively. Jesus H. Christ! Lame game, and lamer still when you would think this is as easy as it can get, but our "leader" sucks at getting it done. Add to it all the disorganized people in my team. It took almost an eternity to accomplish this simple task. Apparently every group had a majority of disorganized people, and no one had finished this simple task <strong>five</strong> minutes into the "game". Finally, when it <i>was</i> accomplished, our team came in second. Loudmouth's team was first (wow) and my dad was stuck with a team consisting 95% of disorganized people.<br /><br />Second round. An annoying music would be played in a half arsed stereo system and all the group members had to dance to it. Whichever team appeared to be the most synchronized would win. Fuck that. I <strong>hate</strong> dancing to shitty music. And I'm only used to headbanging. Now, I had to follow the "leaders" corny dance moves. Going in circles. Wiggling your fingers in the air. Shaking your butt. The chicken dance and what not. It was chaos. And not surprisingly, we came last in that round. My dad's group won, which <i>was</i> a surprise since it had the most number of disorganized people.<br /><br />Third round. This one consisted of the leader having to memorize all the teams' married couples' date of anniversary, and say it in front of the announcer/host/whatever you call it (actually, I can call her anything, but lets stick to "announcer"). My dad unleashed his memory power and it was a cakewalk victory for his team. The leader of our group sucked at memory skills, added to his dancing, organizing and leadership skills. He even tried to cheat his way into winning this round, which was pathetic since you don't achieve anything big if you win. Not even a cookie. I don't remember who came in second. Actually, I don't care to remember.<br /><br />Fourth round. Last round (THANK YOU JESUS!!!!). Another memorizing game, and obviously I expected us to finish last. This time he had to memorize all the names of the team members. And you <strong>know</strong> someone needs a time-out when they can't even remember a name that has only four letters. The leader had to ask me twice what my name was. I don't know who won, because by the time they were announcing the "winners" of this round, I had excused myself to take a piss. I took the time to kick the walls and bash my head on the wall as well. When I returned, dads team had won overall and (surprise surprise) we had come in second. Nothing to be proud of, of course, but there were handshakes and whistling and cheering all around.<br /><br />I was rolling my eyes at these pathetic losers, when someone announced dinner was ready. "Oh boy! End of heartache!", I thought. I was wrong again. Bad turned to worse. The food <strong>sucked</strong> to say the least. The soup made me want to throw up, but I somehow downed it (with much difficulty) so everyone would think I was a nice guy. Finishing dinner was a Herculian task. But when I did finish it, the announcer (the daughter of <strong>A</strong>, did I mention?) err... announced that there were random, spot prizes to be won, and asked everyone not to leave immediately. Wow, our first attempt to flee foiled.<br /><br />Random prizes included "Who-has-the-most-number-of-credit-cards-right-now" prize, "Who-has-a-PAN-card-right-now" prize, "Well dressed couple", "Who-has-shades" prize and other lame prizes of that sort. Everyone were rushing to the front, like pathetic losers, to win something desperately. Oh my God, they even had a "Who-has-the-most-coins" prize, and Loudmouth rushed to the "stage" to show off her cheapskate skills. Oh my God. I mean, coins just kept coming out of her purse... 1... 2... 3... 45... 89... 694... it seemed like it was never gonna end! The announcer got tired and just shoved her the prize. I was surprised there wasn't a "Who-has-the-loudest-mouth" prize and a "Who-is-the-most-disorganized" prize. There would have been a lot of competition for that, though Loudmouth would have won the former without competition.<br /><br />Finally, it was over. We found an opportunity to leave, and used it to our advantage. I thought the time would never come! I wanted to leave desperately. It was an evening dominated by Loudmouth, disorganized people and bad food. Though, I did learn something from this experience. After all, we all keep learning something from everthing we do. I learnt that I wasn't a pathetic loser after all. Atleast, I wasn't rock bottom. There were loads of people in the party, <strong>desperately</strong> trying to win <i>something</i> to make themselves feel better. I guess they must be sore losers in real life. I also learnt that I was good at making people laugh with my antics. See, I'm never myself when I go out. But this time, I tried being myself and it worked well. Looks like I have a good future in stand up and slapstick comedy. And I read somewhere chicks like humorous guys too, so its all going well after all! But I really hope I never end up in a stupid party again. And <i>never</i> meet all these strange people ever again.</span><br /><br /><div class="technorati"><span class="tags">Technorati tags: <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Rants" rel="tag">Rants</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Personal" rel="tag">Personal</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Party" rel="tag">Party</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Boring" rel="tag">Boring</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Humor" rel="tag">Humor</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Humour" rel="tag">Humour</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Weird" rel="tag">Weird</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Losers" rel="tag">Losers</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Stupid" rel="tag">Stupid</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Jesus+H.+Christ" rel="tag">Jesus H. Christ</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Pissed" rel="tag">Pissed</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Life" rel="tag">Life</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Stupid+Games" rel="tag">Stupid Games</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Lessons" rel="tag">Lessons</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Pathetic+Losers" rel="tag">Pathetic Losers</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/OMG" rel="tag">OMG</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/WTF" rel="tag">WTF</a></span></div>Slimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16722193413711032787noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28832056.post-25250007543754184722007-02-03T09:49:00.000+05:302007-02-22T23:04:34.768+05:30New Template!Hope its not an eyesore. Well, atleast not <i>too</i> much. It's probably not complete yet, or maybe it is. I'm not sure. I'm too sleepy right now, I just want to go straight to bed. I've been working overtime on this, and it hasn't turned out 100% the way I wanted it. Send me your feedback, suggestions, cookies and whatever else you want to that might help me better this template. If you notice any errors/bugs, please notify me. Template fixes, the party rant I was talking about in my last post, more posts and much more coming up later. Right now, I'm off to slumber land.<br /><br /><div class="technorati"><span class="tags">Technorati tags: <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Personal" rel="tag">Personal</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Blog" rel="tag">Blog</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Blogging" rel="tag">Blogging</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Template" rel="tag">Template</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/New" rel="tag">New</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Sleepy" rel="tag">Sleepy</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Tired" rel="tag">Tired</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Coding" rel="tag">Coding</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/CSS" rel="tag">CSS</a></span></div>Slimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16722193413711032787noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28832056.post-19014292673428744112007-01-31T23:37:00.000+05:302007-02-22T23:06:04.869+05:30Wisdom of The SlimI've been wanting to introduce this little section for a long time, but a few things came up, I kept chasing even more lost time than ever and eventually had to take a little break. But now that things are beginning to look normal, I guess I can officially declare this little section open. But before I get to that, I have a few rants. Today, me and my dad got invited to<span class="fullpost"> a party, and Oh. My. God. <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/29.gif" /> Did it get me cranky or what?<br /><br />Oh wait... I guess I can't rant about the party until tomorrow... its getting late. And moreover, the party has made me really sleepy <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/37.gif" />. So, a quick intro to <strong>Wisdom of The Slim</strong> and I'm off for the day. It's a new thing/category/topic, where I post witty (read: stupid) one liners, two liners, three liners, x liners, some of them coined by.... who else? The one and only, Yours Truly <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/16.gif" />. These one liners would be thought provoking, funny, boring or just plain stupid. It depends on my mood.<br /><br />I decided to include this section as an excuse when I'm too lazy to post long (and boring) articles. It is also a way to share with you all whatever I've learnt in my 19 years of existence, share my stupidity and queer sense of humor. So with that, here's the first one of its kind (and my favorite):<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold; text-align:center;">"If ignorance is bliss, you're orgasmic."</span></span><br /><br /><div class="technorati"><span class="tags">Technorati tags: <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Personal" rel="tag">Personal</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Rants" rel="tag">Rants</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Bitchings" rel="tag">Bitchings</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Wisdom" rel="tag">Wisdom</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/One+Liners" rel="tag">One Liners</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Ignorance" rel="tag">Ignorance</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Stupidity" rel="tag">Stupidity</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Blogging" rel="tag">Blogging</a></span></div>Slimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16722193413711032787noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28832056.post-3386622816246357802007-01-28T23:02:00.000+05:302007-02-22T23:06:38.783+05:30Bikini = Porn in IndiaOur politicians have a unique way of interpreting things. See, there was this channel called <strong>AXN</strong>, which was my only source to some hot bikini clad women on TV. Now I've been deprived of that, thanks to our politician friends in the parliament. I learnt that the channel had been banned, but I wasn't too concerned because I thought it would be just another<span class="fullpost"> farce, like the (in)famous <a href="http://slimspeare.blogspot.com/2006/07/blogger-ban-aftermath.html">Blogger ban</a> last July. But I started getting edgy when the channel never made a comeback for three days.<br /><br />After some quick research, I found out the channel has been banned till March 15. Just for showing a few bikini clad chicks (sometimes transparent), and a program titled "<strong>Worlds Sexiest Commercials</strong>", the Government has slapped a ban for "indecent" shows. So there's the math. Bikini = Porn. I know you're laughing, but I'm not 'cause I'm the one that is deprived of my daily eye candy of internet chick watching, porno and TV. Now my babe watching will drop by 30% atleast, which is not a good thing for a horny 19 year old.<br /><br />Jokes apart, the reason given for the ban by the Government is "tastless" TV. Oh, give me a break. Only watching government run channels do you get "tasteless" TV. You want tasteless TV, just tune into the government sports channel. All they air are golf matches, a boring game of snooker, horse racing, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kabbadi">kabaddi</a>, Olympic games from a decade ago, some "sport" where one player slowly pushes an almost liquid-like "ball" with an ice hockey stick on a smooth surface and, another one guides it to the "finish line" without even touching the liquid-like ball (sorry for the long description, I have no idea what this "sport" is called), and any boring <strong>sport</strong> under the sun. Chess even! Oh, and don't forget the annoying islamic music playing in the background most of the time.<br /><br />You want tasteless TV? How about tuning in to the "National" TV. Stupid cultural programs, again mostly consisting of annoying islam music, but this time, some weird people wearing crazy costumes dancing <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/29.gif" />. How can one forget the dumbass quiz programs, where the host asks simple questions like "Whats 1 + 1" and the contestant goes "uhhh... 5!", and the audience boo him and go, "No dumbass! Its 89!". India has shitloads of languages, and there are equal number of government run channels in each one, which are equally <strong>bad</strong>, to put it lightly. And they dare call the <strong>Worlds Sexiest Commercials</strong> tasteless. Guess the old <strong>owls</strong> in the <strong>parliament</strong> (pun intended) need a briefing on interesting TV.<br /><br />But amidst all of this shit, there is something to cheer about for the uhhh... morally-challenged, like me. Apparently, the Government is due to pass a bill that would allow the broadcast of adult content after 11 pm. I guess the politicians themselves are getting pretty desperate for some boobies on late night TV. I'm not very excited though, because <strong>kissing scenes</strong> could be <strong>adult</strong> content in our politicians dictionary. But for now, I gotta compensate that 30% loss by downloading some torrents. Sigh.</span><br /><br /><div class="technorati"><span class="tags">Technorati tags: <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/AXN" rel="tag">AXN</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/TV" rel="tag">TV</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Entertainment" rel="tag">Entertainment</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/CSI" rel="tag">CSI</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Vegas" rel="tag">Vegas</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Television" rel="tag">Television</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Programming" rel="tag">Programming</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Worlds+Sexiest+Commercials" rel="tag">Worlds Sexiest Commercials</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Sexy" rel="tag">Sexy</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Bikini" rel="tag">Bikini</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Hot" rel="tag">Hot</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Babes" rel="tag">Babes</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Adult" rel="tag">Adult</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/India" rel="tag">India</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Indian+Government" rel="tag">Indian Government</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Moral+Policing" rel="tag">Moral Policing</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Stupid" rel="tag">Stupid</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Weird" rel="tag">Weird</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Rants" rel="tag">Rants</a></span></div>Slimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16722193413711032787noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28832056.post-58038096706750278392007-01-28T11:15:00.000+05:302007-02-22T23:07:37.194+05:30Goody Two ShoesIt's a racists worst nightmare. One moment you're insulting someone (thinking you're) on your way to fame, and the next, you're <strong>made</strong> to kiss the ass of the entire masses of the race of the person you insulted. It happened to <strong>Kramer</strong> and now, Jade Goody of <strong>Big Brother</strong> fame wants to be "goody" two shoes. She's on her way to India, apparently to "apoligize to people", as <a href="http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/1461625.cms">Indiatimes</a>' version of<span class="fullpost"> Times of India puts it. Obviously, she isn't on the Government's list of "official guest".<br /><br />Blair and the House of Commons probably had a role on this. They're already hit with Islamic problems, and the last thing they wanted was Goody running her mouth like that on National (international?) TV. I hope to find a video of Blair conversing with Goody about it. He would probably be all like, "Aye bitch! Do you realize what jeopardy you have caused on our relations wi.... nuclear deal.... buttsecks with Mushar...errr... world domination.... blah blah" with his funny little accent.<br /><br />Though, I wonder what Ms. Goody Two Shoes would do for fun down here. Obviously she can't go around calling people "dog" or point at a random person and tell them to go back to "the slum". Thats as stupid as going to a gangsta territory and calling them niggers. She better not make the mistake of visiting Calcutta, or atleast hope the people are ignorant (as they usually are) about the Big Brother incident, because there are plenty of emotional bastards out there who get provoked very easily and would give her a hard time.<br /><br />My guess is that pretty much wherever she goes, she would get a hard time from local politicians, who are always looking for an opportunity to boost their votes by debating in length about unimportant issues (Yes, believe me. Our local politicians <strong>never</strong> look into issues of importance, like proper roads or good infrastructure. But they always seem to boost their votes! Lets just pretend we don't know how that happens). So yes, Goody is probably in for a trip of her lifetime, and it isn't going to be very pleasant. She will be atleast food poisoned once during her stay (which would be played down), which she would blame on the "stupid" Indian spicy food of course! She would be better off staying in a hotel room, stay low profile, eating soy beans, tea and crumpets.</span><br /><br /><div class="technorati"><span class="tags">Technorati tags: <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Jade+Goody" rel="tag">Jade Goody</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Big+Brother" rel="tag">Big Brother</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Bitch" rel="tag">Bitch</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Boring" rel="tag">Boring</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Publicity" rel="tag">Publicity</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Cheap+Publicity" rel="tag">Cheap Publicity</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Politics" rel="tag">Politics</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Racist" rel="tag">Racist</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Funny" rel="tag">Funny</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Entertainment" rel="tag">Entertainment</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/News" rel="tag">News</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Current+Events" rel="tag">Current Events</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Goody+Two+Shoes" rel="tag">Goody Two Shoes</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Dumbass" rel="tag">Dumbass</a></span></div>Slimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16722193413711032787noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28832056.post-5362006665257646602007-01-25T22:20:00.000+05:302007-01-27T07:10:50.194+05:30Reality TV Hits New Low<span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">Reality shows never thrilled me. In fact, it repels me like how fat and ugly chicks repel a horny-ass teenager on a prom night. Most reality shows are useless and baseless (you'd agree if you aren't one of those Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie and Simon Cowell worshippers). But the hyped up season 6 of American Idol, and the way Paula Abdul, one of the judges ended<span class="fullpost"> up <a href="http://uk.news.yahoo.com/15012007/140/paula-s-odd-behaviour.html">drunk</a> on <strong>Fox</strong> [<a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=hF_QNaDaFzQ">video</a>], I was intrigued to watch it. And that's when I realized reality shows had dropped to a new low.<br /><br />In the beginning of the show, there were a lot of awful singers auditioning. By "awful", I'm being polite. So you can imagine how bad they were (Actually, I hate any stereotype, Hilary Duff or Kelly Clarkson-like poppy, lovey-dovey song, but I'll just pretend I liked the other singers for now). At every opportunity available, Simon Cowell would insult the person auditioning. Not just their awful singing, also their looks, dress, hairdo etc. And I noticed a lot of <strong>developmentally challenged</strong> (read: fat, ugly, nerdy, shortypants etc.) people auditioning. Cowell would have a go at them as well, irrespective of their singing. What surprises me is that there hasn't been a single lawsuit filed for defamation yet. I mean, most Americans love money. They'd jump at every opportunity to make a <a href="http://slimspeare.blogspot.com/2006/12/sue-your-way-to-bank.html">quick buck</a> by filing a lawsuit.<br /><br />It wouldn't surprise me if including awful singers, especially the developementally challenged ones, was Simon's idea to climb a few notches up the celeb charts, by making controversial and mean comments. Or it could be that these people are paid to get insulted in front of national TV. Hmm. Either way, human morals have hit a new low. And on the other hand, we have another useless "reality" show, Big Brother. I can't help but mention it, if not blog about it in detail. The only worth the show has is help improve has-been celebrities climb a character high in the celebrity list, so they can be in the news and idiots who watch worthless reality TV would kiss their asses.<br /><br />Be it corporate assholes who want to control what an artist can/cannot do and take 98% of the money their albums make, idiots who are ready to get insulted in front of national TV for a few bucks or stupid ass has-been celebs dissing, insulting and racially abusing in hope that they'd be the talk of the town, reality TV and human morals have hit an all time low. It remains to be seen how much more worse it could possibly get.<br /><br /><br /><div class="technorati"><span class="tags">Technorati tags: <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/American+Idol" rel="tag">American Idol</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Paula+Abdul" rel="tag">Paula Abdul</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Simon+Cowell" rel="tag">Simon Cowell</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Reality+TV" rel="tag">Reality TV</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Reality+Show" rel="tag">Reality Show</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Music" rel="tag">Music</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Entertainment" rel="tag">Entertainment</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Rants" rel="tag">Rants</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Celebrities" rel="tag">Celebrities</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Big+Brother" rel="tag">Big Brother</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Stupid+People" rel="tag">Stupid People</a></span></div></span><br /></span></span>Slimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16722193413711032787noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28832056.post-59604121824855003852007-01-23T23:24:00.000+05:302007-01-24T00:10:22.198+05:30I'm Back!<span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family: arial;">... and this must be sad news to a lot of people, because I'm going to start boring you all to death again! Ah, so anyway, this was a much needed break, especially with all the things that have been going on. Don't worry, I'm not going to put all the personal<span class="fullpost"> shit right here... I'm not going to start boring you all to death all that immediately <img src ="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/10.gif" />.<br /><br />But during this "little" break, I missed a few things. I missed Lizze's and Cap's blog posts (I'm a regular reader, you know). Have a lot to catch up. And most importantly, I missed Cap's birthday (grrr). She turned 180 (don't look at me, go to her <a href="http://capricorncringe.blogspot.com">blog</a> and see for yourself). I mean, what could be more fun than hanging out with an almost two centuries old person with a cat named TFC (the fucking cat), and watching them blow <strong>all</strong> the 180 candles on the birthday cake? (*pufff* *pant* *grunt*... I know, I'm evil <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/71.gif" />)<br /><br />I missed all my online friends (Komal, Balla, Yogi, Jay. Oh, and how can I forget <strong>Elena</strong>, even though she probably had a bad PMS and deleted all her online contacts <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/21.gif" />), and have a lot of catching up to do with them. I've completely lost track of all the blogs I read. Must have missed atleast 20 posts in each blog. And then there are the usual things that I would have missed... porno, hot chicks on <strong>MySpace</strong>, and tons of new music on <strong>Last.fm</strong>. And probably some bullshit celebrity news that is only worth making fun of.<br /><br />But heck, I'm back and I'm feeling a lot better from the things that were bothering me (Thank you Liz <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/4.gif" />). I'm not completely okay, but I guess I'm good enough to handle them..... for now atleast lol. Now, I got some searching to do and find something stupid to blog about...<br /><br /><br /><div class="technorati"><span class="tags">Technorati tags: <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Comeback" rel="tag">Comeback</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Return" rel="tag">Return</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Blog" rel="tag">Blog</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Blogging" rel="tag">Blogging</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Personal" rel="tag">Personal</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Life" rel="tag">Life</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Emo" rel="tag">Emo</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Personal+Shit" rel="tag">Personal Shit</a></span></div></span><br /></span></span>Slimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16722193413711032787noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28832056.post-82177790847286571562007-01-03T22:07:00.000+05:302007-01-04T00:12:30.120+05:30Camels Are People Too<span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">Like I mentioned in one of my <a href="http://slimspeare.blogspot.com/2006/12/indian-men-unhappy.html">previous posts</a>, we Indians take the definition of a word to a whole new level. 'Specially <strong>political</strong> terms. This time, <strong>secularism</strong> gets<span class="fullpost"> a whole new definition. Adding a simple prefix <strong>pseudo</strong> to it, Secularism in India is defined to perfection.<br /><br />First, the Madras high court made a good move by <a href="http://www.dailyindia.com/show/98004.php/Madras-HC-banns-camel-slaughter-on-Baqr-Id">banning</a> slaughter of camels in the name of religion by Muslims. "The interim injunction granted by the honourable court is that no animals (camels) should be slaughtered during Bakrid or for any religious purpose. The reason is that this will spread diseases like <strong>anthrax</strong> to the native cattle and also it brings some <strong>bacteria</strong> that will affect the <strong>humans</strong>"<br /><br />Then rather surprisingly, the next day, the <a href="http://www.chennaionline.com/colnews/newsitem.asp?NEWSID=%7B43401B95-18D4-41C4-A26E-29CC00845003%7D&CATEGORYNAME=Tamil+Nadu">ban was vacated</a>! Reason: "There is no law in the state against the slaughter of animals. Besides, under sections 296 and 298 of the Chennai Corporation Act, the Corporation Commissioner could authorise the slaughter of animals even in places other than abattoirs."<br /><br />And no one bothers about the <strong>anthrax</strong> and <strong>bacteria</strong> and the <strong>human lives</strong> all of a sudden? Of course they don't. There are far more dangerous things than anthrax or bacterias (or is it bacterium? I suck at biology, so pardon me), like the Islamic extremists, who might - putting it politely - <strong>protest</strong> the move. A poor little bacteria would kill far less people than a religious fanatic deprived of err... "religious rights" would.<br /><br />And damn right this is pseudo secular. I'll tell you why. In a moment. Let me bash the religious fanatics a little more. "According to the Holy Quran, God appeared in Prophet Ibrahim (Abraham's) dream and asked him to sacrifice something that was most dear to him. Prophet Ibrahim decided to sacrifice his own son, Ismail. However, when he put a knife on Ismail's throat, God replaced his son with a goat through a miracle. The festival seeks to convey that sacrifice is supreme," reasons the article.<br /><br />If sacrifice is supreme, why not sacrifice your barbaric nature for the sake of secularism? For the sake of the survival of the poor animals. Hey, animals are people too... in a way. Heck, if that doesn't convince them, one of the biggest goats of the century was "sacrificed" a few days ago. A goat named Saddam. Why not consider it as the last <strong>animal</strong> "sacrifice" and turn over a new leaf? For the sake of Democracy. And by the way, I don't see the animal rights activist <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maneka_Gandhi">Maneka Gandhi</a> fighting for camels' rights. Is she being racist towards camels???<br /><br />Right, pseudo secularism... When its time for a non Muslim festival, like Diwali, there are millions of restrictions. Like "no bursting crackers after 9 pm" (Yeah right, as if people go to bed at or before 9). "No bursting crackers that have a decibel of more than 125". Right, as if we have a sonograph or whatever to measure the sound. And as if there is someone going around the neighborhood with a sonograph, enforcing this stupid law. Personally, I hate fireworks. Its for dimwits. But still, a restriction is a restriction. And when restrictions/rules don't apply to particular sections of the society, particularly the "minority", its <strong>pseudo secularism</strong>. This just goes to show that the Government is full of tiny balled <a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=idiota">idiotas</a>, who can't face a minority group and say, "Fuck you, Sparky. You're part of a Democracy, and rules apply to you too."<br /><br />Heck, muslims seem to get away with anything these days. In the name of their religion. And this gives me an idea. I could convert into a mulsim, kill the <a href="http://slimspeare.blogspot.com/2006/11/halloween-scare.html">snoring grandpa</a> next door, rape a hot chick because I'm getting really desperate, then drive around town running over pedestrians to please my psychotic alter ego, and get away with it all. Just like a black person would, after raping and brutally murdering a nun by saying, "You fuckin' cracka ass racist! It's juz cuz I'm black ain't it? You say that fuckin' word like you know what you be talkin' bout! You is ignorant!"<br /><br /><br /><div class="technorati"><span class="tags">Technorati tags: <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Muslim" rel="tag">Muslim</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Islam" rel="tag">Islam</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Religion" rel="tag">Religion</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Politics" rel="tag">Politics</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/India" rel="tag">India</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Government" rel="tag">Government</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Society" rel="tag">Society</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Secularism" rel="tag">Secularism</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Secular" rel="tag">Secular</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Law" rel="tag">Law</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Culture" rel="tag">Culture</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Opinion" rel="tag">Opinion</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Camel" rel="tag">Camel</a> <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Sacrifice" rel="tag">Sacrifice</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Animal+Rights" rel="tag">Animal Rights</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Animals" rel="tag">Animals</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Pseudo+Secularism" rel="tag">Pseudo Secularism</a></span></div></span><br /></span></span>Slimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16722193413711032787noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28832056.post-62269345345049911032006-12-31T22:26:00.000+05:302007-01-01T00:37:25.633+05:30To Be or Not to Be?<span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">No, this is not a <strong>Hamlet</strong>-like suicidal question. This is more in the tone of a lonely 19 year old guy from India, stuck between worlds and wondering if its worth still<span class="fullpost"> being a <strong>pessimist</strong>, or to turn into an <strong>optimist</strong> and expect some good stuff this new year. Optimist because the year is over, and I've survived some pretty nasty shit(s?) in life. But pessimism takes over at the thought of "what more shit would this new year bring along?"<br /><br />From being hung like a horse, to being chick-less, being stuck in a shit hole of a place, trying - in vain - at getting some traffic to this blog, and to other pretty serious things that I won't mention, its been a pretty rough and tough year. Atleast some people, like my good friend <a href="http://suga-licious.blogspot.com/2006/12/why-do-all-good-things-come-to-end.html">Elena</a>, had a pretty good year. You'd think posts like that would make you <i>jealous</i> subconciously, and in turn would make you more determined to work harder and come out successfully, no matter what (bad) luck has in store for you. If only it were that easy.<br /><br />I think one of my major resolutions this year should be to become a celebrity. Then I'd get to go to foreign lands, adopt a child from an unknown African or Asian country (to increase popularity), make out with hot chicks (Shannon Elizabeth and Scarlett Johansson hopefully), get drunk and flash my crotch to the paparazzi and <strong>STILL</strong> be famous, and be the talk of the town. Hey, I'm just human and I'm entitled to have unrealistic resolutions.<br /><br />Ah, so 2007. What to expect? I'm not so sure yet. It has been a rough ride, this year. Actually, the past 3 years. And recovery has been slow, and it seems the harder I try to get something done, the deeper I fall into this invisible, but very much existant dark, deep hole. Feeling of emptiness is no fun, obviously. I guess at some point of time, you have to step on other people in the hole and make your way up, using them as "steps". Or maybe one just needs some good luck. I don't know. I gotta wait and see, careful not to let any fucker use <strong>me</strong> as a "step".<br /><br />I'm pretty sure most of the readers would be able to relate to this mixed feelings/emotions whatever. One moment you're depressed over something, and suddenly the next, you have a sudden surge of optimism and want to do out-of-this-world things. Then you're depressed again. And the cycle continues. Atleast thats what it has been in my case (I think I'm a bit bipolar). But lets just hope this new year, there would be less terrorism, less towelheaded extremists, less stupid people, no emo and pop punk bands at all, less corrupt politicians, no attention whore celebrities and no fake ass rappers and hip hoppers. Most of all, lets hope this year would be totally wacko (like my blog)!<br /><br />Wish you all a very happy and prosperous <strong>New Year</strong> (this is so totally unlike me)! And hot women for all (now <i>this</i> is more like me), even Clay Aiken. Lets make some realistic resolutions, people. And <strong>keep</strong> them!<br /><br /><span style="font-size:80%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">P.S. Sorry for the emo nature in some parts of the post. This is one of the very few times you'll find The Slim being emo, so make the most of it to be nosey</span></span> <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/3.gif" />.<br /><br /><br /><div class="technorati"><span class="tags">Technorati tags: <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/New+Year" rel="tag">New Year</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/2007" rel="tag">2007</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Personal" rel="tag">Personal</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Resolutions" rel="tag">Resolutions</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Life" rel="tag">Life</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Thoughts" rel="tag">Thoughts</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Emo" rel="tag">Emo</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Pessimism" rel="tag">Pessimism</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Optimism" rel="tag">Optimism</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Hope" rel="tag">Hope</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Blogging" rel="tag">Blogging</a></span></div></span><br /></span></span>Slimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16722193413711032787noreply@blogger.com10