I've always wanted to be a computer programmer, and maybe a stand up comedian like Kramer. But after reading this news, I want to be become an airport security guard. I will KILL to fulfil this ambition. Hey, where else besides being a porno movie director do you get to see a lot of live boobies? That's what I thought until I read the last paragraph. Bummer.

I would definitely like to be on the other end of this "body scanner" though. It's not like I wouldn't lie to the security chick about the hot guy with long ding dongs, and it's not like she would figure out I'm bullshitting and miss it in the name of work ethics. But problem would arise when I want to travel abroad. I wouldn't want anyone to notice my gun, however small it may be. I know, I'm a terrorist in a sense. I'll have to travel by boat, I guess. Hopefully not in the Titanic. This is one time I wished technology didn't grow at the pace that it is growing. Actually, I wish my ding dong was bigger, so I could walk across the security checkpoint, with my crotch high in the air, saying things like "Hey! How're ya doing?!" and "Who's got a flag?".

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