I've put the blog on an indefinite Hiatus (again). Sorry, I don't have enough time to blog anymore. But I will be back.... sometime. So please keep checking, and do not remove my blog from your bookmark! Later, homies!

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That's some analogy.

Thursday, June 29, 2006
I got this offline message on Yahoo! from a Nigerian friend:

"The Lord is my Operating System, I shall not hang. He makes me to boot normally without errors. He loads my routing table with cool links; he restored my path. He routed me to the server of righteousness, for His domain sake. Even though I browse hackers’ sites, I will fear no attack, for he is my Firewall. Thy antivirus and Intrusion Prevention System, they comfort me. Thou preparest a link before me in the presence of time-outs; thou connected my links with fiber optics. Surely solid connection and replies shall follow me all the period of my pings. And I shall telnet from the server of the Lord for ever and ever. Amen"

Sure, but my Lord is the Windows Operating System. 'Nuff said .

Firefox myths WTF?!

Wednesday, June 28, 2006
I came across this website, and learnt how computer retarded some people can be, and how some people can use that "retardedness" to bash one of the best browsers out there and indirectly promote other browser(s). So, I decided I'd write about how to get the best out of Firefox (so this is basically for n00bs, who think that installing gets rid of spyware and viruses all together). It does prevent infection, in a way (by not allowing ActiveX controls). But if you download pr0n, or some goofy, buggy program bundled with spyware/adware, don't come cryin' "it's Firefox's fault".

The best thing about Firefox is that it's . And it has a wide range of useful , from gmail mail checker to JavaScript blocker. With such a wide variety of Add-Ons, who wouldn't want to make the best use of them?

First off, download the Firefox web browser (if you haven't already).

Okay, so now we're going to download some very useful extensions. The first extension you need is NoScript. NoScript provides added security by blocking evil JavaScript. Actually, it blocks JavaScript by default from websites, unless you have whitelisted it in the options menu. Easy to use, just remember to whitelist all the good websites that you frequent.

Next, I'm pretty sure you get annoyed by seeing those useless banner ads, annoying GIF's on some web sites. That's where Adblock comes into play. Use this handy extension to block ads, annoying GIF's, flash objects etc. You can even whitelist pages (like mine :D) if you want to see ads on a particular website.

If you are a download freak, check out FlashGot, which integrates with popular download managers for Windows. Another extension, DownThemAll!, is a download manager/accelerator within Firefox. It increases download speed by 400%. How cool is that?

Moving on, Fasterfox offers performance and network tweaks. Using it in the default mode works fine. But you might want to tweak a little bit and see the improvements.

If you listen to a lot of music while browsing (like me), you'd find FoxyTunes very useful. You can control a variety of media players without having to leave the browser with this handy extension.

There are so many other dandy extensions like GMail Notifier, Email Notifier (Yahoo!, GMail, Hotmail, your personal POP 3 account), Restart Firefox (Adds "Restart Firefox" menuitem to "File", and a toolbar button for easy restarting. Great for when you install themes or extensions and need to restart Firefox), WataCrackaz (neat for sending SMS Text Messages around the world). Check out more at the Firefox Extensions page.

With so many available extensions, and many more added everyday, which extends the functionality and use of Firefox, an inbuilt RSS reader, tabbed browsing and more, how can anyone call it a mediocre browser? I'm not going to conclude that Firefox is the best browser out there. I know it is. I leave it to you to conclude if it's good or not. Feel free to comment me and correct me where ever I've gone wrong :)

Get Firefox!

I found this funny so I decided I'd post it here.

If Two had been an online game, the room traffic would have gone something like this.

*Hitler[AoE] has joined the game.*
*Eisenhower has joined the game.*
*paTTon has joined the game.*
*Churchill has joined the game.*
*benny-tow has joined the game.*
*T0J0 has joined the game.*
*Roosevelt has joined the game.*
*Stalin has joined the game.*
*deGaulle has joined the game.*
Roosevelt: hey sup
T0J0: y0
Stalin: hi
Churchill: hi
Hitler[AoE]: cool, i start with panzer tanks!
paTTon: lol more like panzy tanks
T0J0: lol
Roosevelt: o this fockin sucks i got a depression!
benny-tow: haha america sux
Stalin: hey hitler you dont fight me i dont fight u, cool?
Hitler[AoE]; sure whatever
Stalin: cool
deGaulle: f*** Hitler rushed some1 help
Hitler[AoE]: lol byebye frenchy
Roosevelt: i dont got s*** to help, sry
Churchill: wtf the luftwaffle is attacking me
Roosevelt: get antiair guns
Churchill: i cant afford them
benny-tow: u n00bs know what team talk is?
paTTon: stfu
Roosevelt: o yah hit the navajo button guys
deGaulle: eisenhower ur worthless come help me quick
Eisenhower: i cant do s*** til rosevelt gives me an army
paTTon: yah hurry the fock up
Churchill: d00d im gettin pounded
deGaulle: this is fockin weak u guys suck
*deGaulle has left the game.*
Roosevelt: im gonna attack the axis k?
benny-tow: with what? ur wheelchair?
benny-tow: lol did u mess up ur legs AND ur head?
Hitler[AoE]: ROFLMAO
T0J0: lol o no america im comin 4 u
Roosevelt: wtf! thats bullsh1t u fags im gunna kick ur asses
T0J0: not without ur harbors u wont! lol
Roosevelt: u little biotch ill get u
Hitler[AoE]: wtf
Hitler[AoE]: america hax, u had depression and now u got a huge fockin army
Hitler[AoE]: thats bullsh1t u hacker
Churchill: lol no more france for u hitler
Hitler[AoE]: tojo help me!
T0J0: wtf u want me to do, im on the other side of the world retard
Hitler[AoE]: fine ill clear you a path
Stalin: WTF u arsshoel! WE HAD A FoCKIN TRUCE
Hitler[AoE]: i changed my mind lol
benny-tow: haha
benny-tow: hey ur losing ur guys in africa im gonna need help in italy soon sum1
T0J0: o **** i cant help u i got my hands full
Hitler[AoE]: im 2 busy 2 help
Roosevelt: yah thats right b**** im comin for ya
Stalin: church help me
Churchill: like u helped me before? sure ill just sit here
Stalin: dont be an arss
Churchill: dont be a commie. oops too late
Eisenhower: LOL
benny-tow: hahahh oh sh1t help
Hitler[AoE]: o man ur focked
paTTon: oh what now biotch
Roosevelt: whos the cripple now lol
*benny-tow has been eliminated.*
benny-tow: lame
Roosevelt: gj patton
paTTon: thnx
Hitler[AoE]: WTF eisenhower hax hes killing all my sh1t
Hitler[AoE]: quit u hacker so u dont ruin my record
Eisenhower: Nuts!
benny-tow: wtf that mean?
Eisenhower: meant to say nutsack lol finger slipped
paTTon: coming to get u hitler u paper hanging hun cocksocker
Stalin: rofl
Hitler[AoE]: u guys are fockin gay
Hitler[AoE]: ur never getting in my city
*Hitler[AoE] has been eliminated.*
benny-tow: OMG u noob you killed yourself
Eisenhower: ROFLOLOLOL
Stalin: OMG LMAO!
Hitler[AoE]: WTF i didnt click there omg this game blows
*Hitler[AoE] has left the game*
paTTon: hahahhah
T0J0: WTF my teammates are n00bs
benny-tow: shut up noob
Roosevelt: haha wut a moron
paTTon: wtf am i gunna do now?
Eisenhower: yah me too
T0J0: why dont u attack me o thats right u dont got no ships lololol
Eisenhower: fock u
paTTon: lemme go thru ur base commie
Stalin: go to hell lol
paTTon: fock this sh1t im goin afk
Eisenhower: yah this is gay
*Roosevelt has left the game.*
Eisenhower: sh1t now we need some1 to join
*tru_m4n has joined the game.*
tru_m4n: hi all
T0J0: hey
Stalin: sup
Churchill: hi
tru_m4n: OMG OMG OMG i got all his stuff!
tru_m4n: NUKES! HOLY **** I GOT NUKES
Stalin: d00d gimmie some plz
tru_m4n: no way i only got like a couple
Stalin: omg dont be gay gimmie nuculer secrets
T0J0: wtf is nukes?
T0J0: holy ****holy****hoyl****!
*T0J0 has been eliminated.*
*The Allied team has won the game!*
Eisenhower: awesome!
Churchill: gg noobs no re
T0J0: thats bull**** u fockin suck
*T0J0 has left the game.*
*Eisenhower has left the game.*
Stalin: next game im not going to be on ur team, u guys didnt help me for s***
Churchill: wutever, we didnt need ur help neway dumbarss
tru_m4n: l8r all
benny-tow: bye
Churchill: l8r
Stalin: fock u all
tru_m4n: shut up commie lol
*tru_m4n has left the game.*
benny-tow: lololol u commie
Churchill: ROFL
Churchill: bye commie
*Churchill has left the game.*
*benny-tow has left the game.*
Stalin: i hate u all fags
*Stalin has left the game.*
paTTon: lol no1 is left
paTTon: weeeee i got a jeep
*paTTon has been eliminated.*
paTTon: o sh1t!
*paTTon has left the game.*

Haha, that was some funny shit. There's also a "If the was an RTS". But I didn't find it as funny as this one. You can read it here. Visit for more military humor.

Overstaying the Hospitality

Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Don't you hate it when a guest comes to your place and stays for a week? Well, I do. It's been three - yes THREE - weeks straight now, and my uncle hasn't hinted on leaving yet. And he never gave us enough notice ahead of time that he's gonna land up at our place either. Added to all this, he's probably the worst communicator you'll ever come across. He never says a word. It's deafening silence when we're eating at the table. He never says a word otherwise. It seems he only opens his mouth to swallow food. And he just invades my room and reads the newspaper all day. He comes out of his "lair" only when he is hungry or when he needs to take a sh... err... empty his bowels.

I would tell him straight in the face to leave, but it's my dad's little bro. So I've got to be "nice". Yea right. I've got to be nice when my room has been invaded for three weeks, when all my routines have been messed up. Added to that, this is the only place where I can bitch about it, which is kind of pathetic. I think I'm gonna put some bed bugs in his bed. Maybe that'll make him leave.

Moral of the story: Don't be an asshole and overstay someone's hospitality, or you're gonna get bed bugs on yo bed.

What Would You Do?

Sunday, June 18, 2006
Imagine you're driving through a highway and a storm is moving in. And all of a sudden, its pouring down real heavy. You decide to drive slowly. On your way, you find three people under a shelter. One of them is your long lost friend, the second one, a chic and third, an old woman, who is apparently having a seizure. You only have room for one in your to pick up. You don't want to leave behind your friend and obviously, being a desperado (like me), you don't want to let the hot chic slip by. And of course, the old woman reminds you of your nice Grandma and you don't want to leave her behind as well. But unfortunately, only room for one in the passenger area. What would you do in this situation? Who would you pick? What's the best thing that can be done?

I know most of you would say you'd pick up the old woman because she needs immediate medical attention. You're just trying to be nice. And no, it's not the best thing that can be done.

"I'll pick up my best friend" you say? No, sorry. Not the best thing.

The woman? Well, good try but nuh uh.

I know you're like "WTF?! Driving away is the best thing to do then?" Read on to find out what a super smart person (like me) would have done.

Okay, here's what you do. You give the keys to your long lost friend, tell him to take the old woman to the nearest hospital while you get with the fine chick in the rain .

What Constitutes an Asshole

Friday, June 16, 2006
Have you ever been called an asshole and you wondered in what context the person meant it? Check out the list below, and if one of them applies to you, you are an asshole!!

  • If you kidnap strangers, torture them and then decapitate them all in the name of Allah or any other religion, not only are you a fucking hypocrite... you are an asshole!
  • If you make fun of a sports team for 10 years and then when they suddenly do well you jump on the bandwagon and act as if you've always been a fan... you are an asshole!
  • If you get paid insane amounts of money to play a game and then beat up your fans for throwing something at you when you suck... you are an asshole!
  • If you make plans with your friend or date and then don't show up or even call... you are an asshole!
  • If you jerk off all over your friends' porno magazine and then give it back with the pages stuck together... you are an asshole!
  • If you take up two parking spaces for one car... you are an asshole! (unless you have to get your wheelchair out of your car)
  • If you park in a handicapped space and you are not handicapped... you are an asshole!
  • If you suddenly stop in the middle of a busy aisle/intersection/hallway and just stand there... you are an asshole!
  • If you complain about the government, yet don't vote... you are an asshole!
  • If you believe everything your government tells you... you are an asshole!
  • If you make decisions when you don't know shit about a subject... you are an asshole!
  • If you refuse to wait your turn and instead cut into line at every opportunity... you are an asshole!
  • If you are a racist... you are an asshole!
  • If you advocate censorship... you are an asshole!
  • If you fart noisily and then laugh while pointing at your buddies... you are an asshole!
  • If you ask stupid questions and then get pissed off when returned with stupid answers... you are an asshole!
  • If you brag about how good your girlfriend is in bed and then get mad when your friends take her for a test spin... you are an asshole!
  • If you get good service in a restaurant and yet don't tip... you are an asshole!
  • If your dick turns twenty different shades and is dripping thick fluids and you go out and fuck all the women you can just to pass it on... you are an asshole!
  • If you complain about your weight problem and still eat at McDonalds... you are an asshole!
  • If you call for a pizza, tell the guy to hold, then ask what everybody wants... you are an asshole!
  • If you put your makeup on while driving... you are an asshole!
  • If you don't bother to update the links to your own homepage... you are an asshole!
  • If you piss all over the toilet seat in a public restroom and don't have the common courtesy to wipe it off... you are an asshole!
  • If you bitch about your parents not buying you a new Playstation II when only 3 months ago they bought you a Gamecube... you are an asshole!
  • If you wear a team jersey and know nothing about the team or sport... you are an asshole!
  • If you trick others into drinking diarrhea mixed with milk by telling them it is chocolate milk... you are an asshole!
  • If you make a list of what constitutes an asshole... you are an asshole!

More definitions of asshole at TheDipstop.com

Madras Christian College, established by John Anderson, a Scottish missionary in 1837, is one of the oldest and finest colleges of the Indian sub-continent. Started as a small school in Georgetown, (then) Madras, it has since grown into an institution par excellence, with sixteen academic departments offering under-graduate, graduate and even research degrees. Affiliated to the University of Madras, it was one of the first colleges in the country to receive autonomy.

Since 1937, the college functions from an amazingly beautiful campus at Tambaram, near Chennai. Its 375 acre campus, famous for its deer and trees, has a lake, which is an angler's paradise. The residential system on campus is that of semi-autonomous halls, where the staff and an international community of students live in close fellowship. The uniqueness of MCC has produced such people of outstanding ability, commitment and integrity that the people of the land even today refer to its students as the Gentlemen and Ladies of MCC!

This year marks the Silver Jubilee of the graduating Class of 81, which incidentally is also the 1st autonomous batch in the country. A ReUnion has been planned on the August 13th and 14th at Chennai and participation has been confirmed from around the globe. The theme would be "Celebrating 25 years of Nostalgia and Fellowship" and the two days would provide an opportunity for 81 Alumni to get reacquainted with former classmates and families to reminisce on old times.

An exclusive website has been created at http://classof81mcc.com.

There you go Don :). Now where's my $ 50? Haha, just kidding.

Our Education System Flaw's: Part III

Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Okay, so I finally found time to bitch about math. So here we go again.

Alright, so what do we have to go through in math you ask? Well, it's nothing really. Just Calculus, Differentiation, Matrix (not the movie lmao), Inverse Matrix (I seriously don't know what it is because I didn't stick around long enough in school to find out lol), Interpolation and more of that high level, complex math. It's definitely not wrong studying about them, the thing is (again), it should be left as a choice and not forced.

Why in the world would I want to go through all that unless I want a job in NASA or if I want to be a mathematician? And the parents are too busy with their stuff (or don't really give a damn), they're totally unaware of what their child has to go through in school. So they send them to special training centers (known as tutions locally). There, people work for money, and don't give a shit about making it easier for the student. And in the first place, there is no need for the student to go through this complex math unless he/she really wants to. It's a vicious circle. You might ask, "What the heck Slim, I don't see anyone else complaining. You're just being emo." Just because people don't complain doesn't mean there is no need to revise the syllbus. I have a lot of friends who feel the same way as me, but don't want to rebel and are willing to suffer silently (I have no idea why they want to suffer).

I really wonder if the Education Minister who set the syllabus for us really knows shit about the things we go through. I mean, the only qualification you need to be a politician is you have to be atleast 35 years of age. And education is definitely not a qualification, so we have idiots running the Government. So you'd expect the Minister to fail if he takes the same examination that we do.

The system is really fucked up. Imagine a kindergarten kid doing homework. I mean what the fuck, leave the kid alone! It's not the age to do homework. It's all about playing, exploring new things, doing fun stuff etc. We do have schools where they give more importance in building the kid's creativity and imagination. But heck, it's too damn costly for the average, middle-class family. If people really get "educated" once they graduate, we wouldn't be having people bribing the authority to get things done. We wouldn't have people voting the corrupt politician even if he promises a free color TV, free food (or low cost), and a high resale value on your home if he gets elected. We wouldn't have people shitting in the woods and pissing out in the open. And with all this, we have a President who says India will be Super Power in 2020. You know what? Unless, something is done about our education system, we can never be a Super Power, even if it's the year 456946 and there are only 3 countries left on the face of the Earth and one of them is India.

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Our Education System Flaw's: Part II

Sunday, June 04, 2006
Okay, today its about the complex physics and chemistry. Whenever I ask the question "Why oh why do we have to go through this shit?" I get the answers "Because they help you broaden your ability to think differently", "Broadens the mind" etc. Oh sure, studying about Elastic and in-elastic collisions in one and two dimensions sure will broaden the mind (sarcasm, if you missed it). And why do I have to know about thermodynamics when it's not going to help me in any sort of way in the future? It's all a mystery. Here are some quotes "as is" from the books. And no, they don't have any funny mistakes like the ones in Sanskrit, but its a whole lot funny in a different way .

Here's how they define a meter: "One standard meter is equal to 1,650,763.73 wavelengths of the orange-red light emitted by the individual atoms of krypton 86 in a krypton discharge lamp"

Oh, and you should see how easily they define "one second"... "One standard second is defined as the time taken for 9,192,631,770 periods of the radiation corresponding to unperturbed transition between hyperfine levels of the ground state of cesium-133 atom."

Candela... "The candela is the luminous intensity in a given direction due to a source, which emits monochromatic radiation of frequency 540 x 1012 Hz and of which the radiant intensity in that direction is 1/683 watt per steradian."

And they define lots of other things in the same way that'd make you go . And that's just the beginning. There's more gruesome stuff in the form of Thermodynamics, Wave Motion, Kinematics, Ray Optics etc. They have questions like "What's the torque of a double jointed socket wrench and the pounds per square inch used within the movements to tighten a lug nut to fire a trigger on an M-16?" That's just enough to kill a 16-17 year old.

Chemistry is no different. I'm like "why the fuck do I need to learn about hydrocarbons or metallurgy when I'm not interested in becoming a scientist." You might think I'm being a bit too harsh. Again, examples will tell you how deep the subjects are.

  • Metallurgy - I don't need to know how to extract metals from ores. So why don't you leave me alone?
  • Atomic structure - Dude, wtf? I'm not interested in something that cannot be seen with the naked eye. I don't care how an atom looks like either.
  • Thermodynamics - WTF? Are you kidding? I already have that in physics. And whatever they're saying there are totally different from what is being said here. What am I to believe?
  • Chemical kinetics - Wooha.
  • Hydrocarbons - ....
  • Aromatic Hydrocarbons - ......... plus, they smell. Eww.

There are 21 deep chapters just like that. The teacher even encouraged us to memorize all the equations, because there were so many of them and she was too busy with other things to make us understand. Reality is, she really didn't know herself . That's the problem in our country... subjects are too deep, AND the teachers are inefficient. Okay, so we have to memorize 843654375525076249655567565795235 formulaes plus the biiiiigggg, complicated definitions from physics. What's the point in "memorizing" if this is going to help broaden the mind? And of what use is it when you're not aiming to become an Einstein, but a good old geeky programmer? I hope you see my point. Okay, that's it for today. Tomorrow, I'm going to whine about math and then its conclusion time.

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Our Education System Flaw's: Part I

Friday, June 02, 2006
Okay, I figured this would be a nice place to whine about all the drawbacks and flaws of our (Indian) education system, because whenever I try to bring up this subject offline, people try to shut off the topic. Yea, I know it's lame. Not that I think talking about pr0n and hot chics is a waste of time. I do it all the time. I'm one of the biggest perv's you'd ever come across . But I feel it is also important to be socially aware. To know what the fuck is going on with the retarded schools, the retarded system etc. We never seem to care about how the society is doing. We tend to get selfish after we hit the 18's and 19's. We seem to care less (or not at all) about the society, no matter how fast it is rotting.

So I figured I'd post my views, wrong or right, in here and also demostrate how bad the system is. I'm only writing the truth, nothing is made up. Whatever I'm about to quote from the textbooks is "as is". Nothing has been made up. And I'm dividing this into parts, because posting about the flaws in one post would be too much . So with that, here we go...

Today, I'm gonna talk about Sanskrit, the dead language. Firstly, I wonder why they have it on the syllabus if it's "dead". Okay, you might say "it's a good way to revive the language from the dead." Ever wondered whats the inside story? In the exams, you don't have to write the answers in Sanskrit itself, you could answer in English. What kind of revival is going to happen if everyone is going to answer in English and aiming to only score. And in my school, we had a choice of Hindi or Sanskrit. I chose Hindi because I was kind of used to it, and comfortable (even though I'm not too good at it ). But I was forced to take up Sanskrit because they "didn't have enough students who took Hindi as their second language". What kind of bullshit is that?

So yea, it took me some time to get used to the dead language. They had a itty bitty textbook, with a translation book in English. The translation book was the shit... open it and you wouldn't stop laughing. So many grammatical errors and falsely constructed sentences. Here are some quotes from the translation "as is"...

"When it is said that this is a good Tamil Country, it appears as if the honey flows into the ears" <<< Geez lol.

"A person devoid of learning is a beast (brute)" <<< The person who wrote this is apparently a "beast" too, since he forgot to learn English.

"Undoubtedly he has heard repeatedly all grammars. He spoke so much without making a single grammatical slip" <<< The same can't be said about the person who wrote this, lmao.

"Neither in the face nor in the eyes, in the forehead, or in the eyebrows or in other features of his body could we detect any flaw of speech" <<< As if "he" speaks with his brows, forehead and wee wee. Shut up, for pete's sake.

"Being severely scorched by the rays of the sun and parched in the way by the hot dust, a snake with it's face turned downwards (and) moving tortuously, taking rapid breath is lying under the shadow of a peacock." <<< Apparently, the fellow is trying to describe how hot Summer time is, but screwed it up.

Here is a section of a lesson, which is a convo between a teacher and a student, where Q is the student and A is the teacher (lmao)...

"Q: Oh sir! what is fit to be accepted?
A: Teacher's words.
Q: What is to be discarded?
A: Unwanted actions.
Q: Who is a teacher?
A: He who knows the truth and strives always for the good of the pupils.
Q: What is more beneficial?
A: It is Dharma (righteousness).
Q: Who is pure here?
A: Whose mind is pure (OMG, what kind of answer is that?)
Q: Who is intelligent?
A: One who could discriminate
Q: Which is a poison?
A: Disrespect towards elders.

And the convo goes on for another 649784534434058734 stupid questions and answers.

"For a long time, there was no child born to both of them (as if a child is born seperately to both of them). Then, once they both went to the hermitage of Vasishtam their family preceptor. There the couple, caught hold of the feet of Arundathi and......" <<< LMFAO, goddamnit. And the sentence goes on with another 5645325 mistakes.

"Once upon a time, you went to heaven to greet the great Indra. Then when you were returning, on your way, Kamadhenu (the divine yielding cow) was resting under the shadow of Kalpaka tree (the divine yielding tree). You didn't bow to her. You hurriedly went back remembering your wife. By that, she (the cow, not his wife lmao), becoming angry, cursed you thus - 'Without worshipping my child, there will be no issue to you.'" << .

"At that moment, unexpectedly Nandini (the "daughter" of the cussing cow) appeared. And she oozed out urine. With that water Raghu washed both his eyes." <<< OMFG, that was one of the funniest shit I've come across in my 19 years of existence.

And the book goes on with another ten million mistakes, errors and other funny shit like this. So you all see what I mean? See how serious people are about education? This book is supposedly written by "A team of teachers" who are Professors. Bullshit man. This book is nothing but useful in the process of education. It could provide some laughs if published as a humor book. Thats all.

Well, thats it for today. More tomorrow yo. Keep checking my blog.

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