I've put the blog on an indefinite Hiatus (again). Sorry, I don't have enough time to blog anymore. But I will be back.... sometime. So please keep checking, and do not remove my blog from your bookmark! Later, homies!

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Ending Hiatus and Sudoku for Dummies

Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Whew! It's been quite a while since I blogged about something. I think I have taken a long enough break, and I think its that time now what people say "It's back to business". To be honest, I've completely forgotten how I've my blog coded for certain features to work, so designs and posts might be a little sloppy for some time. Old readers, hopefully you're keeping an eye for new posts in my blog, and welcome to any new readers out there. I hope you'll find some fun reading my blog! For my comeback, I thought I'd start off with a funny pic I made. Here it is:

Sudoku for Dummies

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Smartass Google

Saturday, April 21, 2007
Google can be such a smartass sometimes. To experience this yourself, go to Google Maps, and click on the Find Directions tab. Type in "New York, USA" in the start address box, and "Paris, France" in the end address box. Hit get directions, and scroll down the search results into the 20's and see why Google is a smart ass Grin.



Awful Movie Stunt

Monday, March 26, 2007
If you watched the movie "Hercules in New York" and thought the stunts in it were awful, you are right. I certainly did, especially that awful scene where Arnold fights with a bear... and you can clearly see the retard under the bear costume. Anyway, just when I thought it couldn't get goofier, one of my online friends, Trevor, sends me a stunt clip from an Indian movie... which is indeed goofier. Here's the clip...

Funny as hell, isn't it? ROFL LOL OMFGLOL

Cricket at its Worst

Sunday, March 25, 2007
We're just two weeks into the Cricket World Cup '07 in the Carribean, and there is just too much news about it... for all the wrong reasons. This World Cup was slated to be the most boring of all since it began in 1975, but it has been making a lot of news, again for all the wrong reasons. It has been filled with controversies, from a funny one like the fallen sight-screen at a practice game to a horrible one like Pakistan team's coach, the great Bob Woolmer's mysterious death, especially soon after the shock defeat of the team to minnows Ireland.

Add to this, the early exit of "Team India" after losses to Bangladesh and Sri Lanka, the excitement reduces a fair bit. And the controversies seem to be happening away from the Carribean as well. Pakistan captain Inzamam's Angry fans retirement probably was forced, both by the Pakistani management and the "passionate" cricket loving public of Pakistan, after their shock defeat and eventual exit from the Cup. The Indian public seem to be at the same level as their neighbor Pakistan, throwing stones and rampaigng the players' house, burning effigies of the captain and the coach, and a "mock funeral" of the team.

Now, those of you who know me well would know how good I am at rants, and how I'm a cricket fanatic. And indeed I am disappointed by India's performance, but taking to the streets and causing havoc is... putting it simply, idiotic. I don't have much to say on this, except that if these cricket "fanatics" were equally demanding from our politicians as they are from our cricketers, and take to the streets every time a politician does something wrong, we wouldn't still be on the list of third world shitholes.

It remains to be seen what more controversies (and news that is just not about cricket) unfold into the third, fourth and fifth weeks into the World Cup.

Chicken Eating Cow!

Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Lal the Indian cow has good taste in a meal. Who likes dried grass, or damp hay anyway? That's exactly what the cow thought. And Lal, the non-vegetarian cow from Calcutta decided to treat itself to its master's chicken. After a few rounds of chicken, the cow really fell in love with having chicken for lunch. And dinner. And breakfast. The cow kept chowing down and the chicken kept disappearing. The farmer family decided to stand guard at night at the cow shed, after 48 chickens went missing in one month. And they had the shock of their life when they caught their family cow red handed... err... red feeted?.

Perhaps Lal is one of the cows in this picture...

Chicken eating Cow(s)

An expert vet says the cow's strange behavior is due to "lack of vital minerals in the body". Whatever that means Rolling Eyes. I think the cow was a tiger in its past life, just like the villagers believe. Villagers are always right. Apparently, there are videos of the cow achieving this feat, but I haven't found one yet. It would have been totally brutal, posting a video along with this post! What's even funnier is that the CNN article uses "his" atleast once to describe the cow. But whatever, Lal sure provided us with some LOL. Score one for Indian cows.

The Importance of Thumb

Friday, March 16, 2007
I didn't realize the thumb was so important for everyday life. Actually, I never cared about the thumb... until I cut myself. No. It was not out of an emo moment. It was an accident. Honest! If you don't believe me, screw you! I was trying to cut the damn tag with a blade from this new shirt I bought, and whamo! I was in a hurry and didn't realize I should be taking it slow, and that I should have had my fingers away from the direction the blade was "travelling".

Anyway, I just realized the importance of thumb, even though it has no use in derogatory gestures. I can't lift a damn spoon properly, can't dial a number, can't lift things. Heck, I can't even move the mouse properly without my thumb. The only thing I could possibly think of doing without the thumb now is taking a shit. And then just now, with some trouble, I made a little GIF to humor myself. Here it is:

Razor for Dummies!

And by the way, I'm going to sue the shirt company for having 495783452 damned tags on their shirt.

Fence Plowing. Wow.

Sunday, March 11, 2007
"Fence plowing". It's the new in-thing amongst American teenagers with no life. First, it was Ghostriding. Just when I thought it was the lamest idea anyone could come up with, someone outdid their retarded self and came up with this fence plowing (Actually, it was me. Everyone everywhere knows that, but one Adam Schwarzenneger-something got his 15 minutes of fame before I could call up Fox news sad). Here's the video:

AhEm straight face... Two things... First, Fox news is groundbreaking. Any channel that interviews the lowest common denominator of the society is groundbreaking. Way to go. Give the producers a cookie. Second, like this one commenter on YouTube points out:

Perhaps somebody should point out that, a few weeks ago when the story first aired on FOX and they were saying it's "the latest teen craze", there were only 7 returns on you tube and 94 on Google when I search "Fence plowing". Up until that point, I've never even heard of the thing. "Now there are a whole bunch of fence plowers on you tube" as they say in this recent video. Now I get 12 replies on you tube and 120,000 on Google. Perhaps it was actually FOX that pioneered teens destroying your expensive privacy fence. Way to go FOX. Score one for the team. F' Yeah!

Here's another video of a common denominator so low that he's a negative integer:

If John Kerry saw these video's, he'd go, "Go get some education, son! Or you'll end up in Iraq!". And he is right. Retards like these would be useful in Iraq to tackle them suicide bombers. Even if they die in the process, there's not much to lose. Good riddance.

Oh by the way, watch out for these idiots in your neighborhood. And don't be shy to take them out with your shotgun. And if you happen to have a brick fence, then you could put a fake wooden fence around it, and watch the fun if these idiots arrive in your neighborhood. You could even record it on video and put it on YouTube to get your fifteen seconds of fame.

World Cup: A Preview

Friday, March 09, 2007
Cricket's biggest event is just four days away, and I can't wait! It seems days away, though its very close. It's like when you want to pee urgently, you don't want to hold it in any longer and just want to open the flood gates, but the restroom seems miles away. That's how I'm feeling at the moment! That Australia got anally raped by England first, then New Zealand makes things more interesting, because this one wouldn't (hopefully) be a one-sided event like it was the last time around.

This is probably India's best chance at winning the Cup, since most sides are plagued by injuries. It was a miracle that India got through to the finals the last World CupRahul Dravid, Sourav Ganguly and Sachin Tendulkar with a weaker side than the present one. Plus, the momentum was missing last time, after the team was anally raped by New Zealand (not that there might be a coincidence of the Aussies getting into the finals this time around). But this time, we're the only team along with South Africa, England and New Zealand to go into the World Cup with a winning momentum.

Though you'd hear almost every other person (even those who don't know anything about cricket, but want to show off), World Cup 2007including half-baked sports anchors and dumbass celebrities say that this is anyone's World Cup, I personally feel only a couple of teams have the firepower last till glory - Australia, South Africa, India and maybe Sri Lanka, if their batting form picks up. New Zealand getting defeated by Bangladesh only adds to the uncertainity of the game, and now India would have to watch their backs because Bangladesh figures in the same group in the first round, and are capable of beating most top teams on their day!

The hyped up "big hitters" of the game - Kemp, Dhoni, Pieterson etc. would be put to test for their patience and consistency in the newly laid wickets in the Carribean. Heck, I'm surprised a big hitter like me never made it to even the State team. I'm sure I'll be 23.869% more consistent than M.S. Dhoni, and that'd mean a heck of a lot for India. I still remember the day when I was playing street cricket with a few of my friends, I hit a strong leg side shot and it hit one of my neighbor so hard in the cheek that she had to have her molar teeth removed!

But as long as India can last the distance in the World Cup, I'd have no grudges against the political bastards who come in the way of every prospective future cricketer.

Batsmen to watch out for: Ricky Ponting, Graeme Smith, Sachin Tendulkar, Inzamam Ul-Haq, Rahul Dravid, Mike Hussey, Sanath Jayasuriya, Chris Gayle.

Ricky Ponting Sachin Tendulkar Chris Gayle

Bowlers to watch out for: Glenn McGrath, Makhaya Ntini, Shaun Pollock, Chaminda Vaas, Muttiah Muralitharan, Sanath Jayasuriya, Anil Kumble, Zaheer Khan, Shane Bond, Monty Panesar, Liam Plunkett.

Glenn McGrath Shaun Pollock Shane Bond

Funny Ads

Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Google Ad's these days errr... actually contextual Google ads these days are really random. And hilarious. So hilarious, it gets me - a moderately depressed lonely guy - rolling on the floor, laughing out loud. I could have put it ROFLOL, but I like typing long sentences. I'm nerdy like that.


Cap's advice to me on depression generated a couple of really hilarious ads. Well, it was hilarious to me atleast. Contextual ads do have a purpose... to entertain and make people roll on the floor and laugh their ass off. But not for generating $$$, as I found out the hard way sad. Perhaps Google should rethink their product name... Google AdNonSense seems like a good idea grin.

20 Reasons I Want to be a Dog

Saturday, February 24, 2007
1. I could pee anywhere I want to, and no one would complain.

2. No one would complain if I grow/don't shave off hair in "unusual" places.

3. I could wake up and go to sleep anytime I want

4. There would be no stupid rules in "dating games", like "oooh, you gotta be handsome and wear tight leather pants and have a 15 inch schlong to get laid". Even a pug is considered cute.

5. I could fuck any random bitch (no pun intended) I want.

6. I could eat whenever I please. I'd just have to wag my tail at my dumbass "master", make a puppy face and I've just got my meal!

7. I don't have to take the pains to bath, someone will do that for me.

8. I just do some stupid tricks in front of chicks, and I've got myself some hotties for fans.

Dogs Bathing
9. There are no everyday human worries. I'd get to lie around all day in my doghouse.

10. I'd get to bite random people who I find stupid.

11. I would have atleast one best friend if I were a dog.

12. I could pant and drool over chicks as much as I want to and they wouldn't look at me like I'm some kind of creep.

13. I could get into a hot chicks lap by just wagging my tail.

14. I would finally get to hear what a "dog whistle" sounds like.

15. I don't think dogs suffer from bipolar disorder and depression.

16. No one would complain if I go around town chasing cats like they would if I did it now.

17. I have more chances of appearing on a movie if I were a dog.

18. There are no disgraces to Dogkind like there is to Humankind like Paris Hilton, Ian Benardo and Britney Spears.

19. There aren't any corporate dickheads in the Dogkind.

20. Woof woof!

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